A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So my 2 year dating anniversary with my boyfriend is coming up. Unfortunately I don't know how to feel about it. I'm acting kind of unstable but I don't know why, and it's confusing my boyfriend.The background is that both of us are in university, close to graduation. Academic and work wise, everything's pretty good. Both of us do well, and I've got a great job lined up after I graduate. We love each other, and beyond occasional spats like every other couple we really do get along nicely. Besides the normal school stress, that's not really my problem.The problem is that the closer I get to this anniversary the more irrational I get. Last weekend I confused the heck out of my boyfriend when, via transit on the way to his house, I completely shut down, refused to talk or touch him, and demanded to get driven home immediately. I was angry as hell for no reason and my boyfriend didn't know what to do.Eventually we talked it out and he calmed me down, but I think I'm going to get worse with the strange emotional outbursts. He wonders if I have commitment issues, and I wonder that too. I definitely was freaked out a couple days before that outburst, when some of my coworkers, a couple of years older than me and married, were talking about their future and their five-year baby and house plans...like down to a T!I really couldn't handle it! Like WHO PLANS out their lives like that?! Apparently they were exactly like me a couple years ago, and changed their minds when they got older, but that scares me too. Am I going to be like them too? My boyfriend is very important to me, and we've been through a whole heck of alot, and we love each other very much. But somehow I think somewhere in my subconscious this 2 year anniversary has gotten me scared--because basically if I've been in it for 2 years, I'll probably be in it for the long haul.I have a load of friends that are already married or are going to be soon, and some have kids.How on earth can the difference in childbirth be so different, from 18-30's and so on? And how come I feel so childish, when so many of my friends are already settling down?Does anyone/did anyone ever feel like this?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, DoubleM  +, writes (25 October 2009):
 Everything you say answers your own questions.
A
female
reader, crazychick  +, writes (25 October 2009):
 Firstly you should rule out pregnancy... hormones can wreak havoc with your emotions...
I'm sure it's just a phase, lots of people get to a point in their relationship where they get scared. 2 years is quite a while and you're probably just panicing about the future, but you shouldn't. It sounds like you're really happy with your boyfriend, and vice versa, you just need to remember that you don't have to plan your future right now and you don't have to follow in your friends footsteps, decide when your getting engaged, married, buying a house or how many kids you want.
Stop fretting about the future and concentrate on the present. You are in a happy relationship, you have lots of friends and a good career ahead of you. You don't have to make plans. Celebrate your 2 year anniversary for what it is, not what it might represent. Lots of women nowdays dont get married or choose to have children much later in life so they can concentrate on their careers. Enjoy your relationship as it is and let it follow it's natural course.
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