A
male
age
36-40,
*njoimx
writes:Hey everyone! Im 23 male..I appreciate all you people who answer questions on this site...its soo great to be able to collaborate on this crazy game of love and life!!I am in an open relationship right now with a girl I absolutely adore and really want to be with againm someday. We had been dating for 4 months before i had to leave for school.She has a free spirit, which is what i love about her, but i know that if she ends up sleeping with another guy while we are apart its going to kill me inside. I tried to sleep with another girl who i really like as a person, just to see if i could, but i couldnt, even though she is very hot and attractive and reallly a great girl...i ended up leaving before anything happened. There was just no emotional connection and all i could think about was how i missed my girlfriend.Its an open relationship and she has a right to sleep with another guy and get involved. How do I go about getting over that fear and jealousy of her sleeping with someone else while we are in this stage, giving each other space, finding ourselves with hopes of being together next summer?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2008): OPEN RELATIONSHIP!!!
What a pile of s.h.i.t.
If you love eachother, it should be 'All Or Nothing'
A
female
reader, lilgirly  +, writes (4 November 2007):
 hey,
her idea is killin you!if you didn't have this you have nothing! sorry but i think you have nothing!because noone can call this a relationship!
if she is such a great person then you have t talk to her and tell her how you feel!
good luck and tell us what happens next byeXXX
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A
male
reader, enjoimx +, writes (3 November 2007):
enjoimx is verified as being by the original poster of the question It was her idea to have the open relationship
I feel like if we didnt have this, we would have nothing at all, and I think she is too great of a person to slip out of my life...i guess i am afraid of losing her...
I know there cant be fear in love...this is what i have been struggling with so much lately...in order to love fully you must not be afraid of losing someone...but does that lack of fear come naturally from trust or do you build that lack of fear through finding yourself and becoming comfortable with who you are and happy with yourself?
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A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (3 November 2007):
 People with a free spirit live for feelings. You can't control these people with jealousy or strict rules. If you don't want her to sleep around, then tell her. If sex with strangers is more important to her than committing to you, you have your answer. If you try and convince yourself it's OK for her to do this, you'll resent her.
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A
female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (3 November 2007):
Being in an open relationship is something you clearly are OK with. So why do it? You dont have to do it if you dont want to. Perhaps you feel its either you have a open relationship with her or nothing at all? If thats the case then I would say that maybe she isnt as serious about you as you want her to be. Personaly I think open 'relationships' arent good at all...either you are commited to the person, therefor being in a relationship with them or you arent in one wiht them at all.
Whose idea was it to be in a open relationship? perhaps you could talk to her and see her thoguhts about not doing that, and just waiting to see each other next? I dont think you should settle for any less then what you want and what YOU DESERVE!
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A
female
reader, lilgirly +, writes (3 November 2007):
hey,to tell you the truth you can't get over your jealousy and thoughts because of this thing called 'love'.tell her how you feel and if she doesn't accept then........i know what i will say might be hard to take but i will say it anyways 'leave her ' i am really sorry but i know for a fact that you will keep on thinking of her ,if she doesn't understand how you felt.. but i wish if you talk to her she will tell you i feel the same way:D that would be great. well i hope i might helped good luck and keep us updated:D byeXXX
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