A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:i am a 50 and male,and i have been working with this young woman who is 18. She is the owners daughter so I first was aware of her when she was 11.About 8 months ago,we fell in love,believe it or not, both our first love...i have never dated before and we know each other's likes and dislikes and we are like 2peas in a pod.i am old fashion,sex after marriage,so we never went further than kissing.her parents found out,fired me and now i have'nt seen her in 2 days....should i wait for her to contact me since she is probably being watched like a hawk from her mom,or should i just forget her.i am so heartbroken...we were talking marriage and children...the rene and celine dion syndrome?was the relationship ok?am i just a dirty old man?...i don't regret falling in love.it is fantastic but it now hurts like hell
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2011): If u really "love" her then let her go.She is But a child. Enough said.If u are a decent caring man then u know what to do. Look for someone your own age.LoveGirl
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2011): Her parents did the right thing. She is just a child. You should look for women closer to your own age to date.
You are not like two peas in a pod. You are 50, she is 18. Your life experiences and emotional development are worlds apart. You both need to be with people who are in the same life stage as yourselves.
She's way too young to be thinking about marriage and kids. So you shouldn't even be raising that subject with her.
She needs to go out and date boys her age and develop her adult personality.
I'm sorry but you need to leave her alone and focus on finding women who are closer to your own age and stage in life.
you are not a 'dirty old man' but I would really question WHY you have never fallen in love before until now, and only with this girl 30 years younger than you and whom you've known since she was 11. Are you afraid of the 'real world' and 'real women' and only feel safe enough when you're with someone who's practically a child, whom YOU see as a child.? If so you may have some personal issues to work through so you can form healthier adult relationships.
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A
female
reader, Mummy86  +, writes (20 August 2011):
 sorry but i doubt it would last, maybe she just saw you as a father figure, surely theres a lovely 50 yr old woman out there for you, it would be wrong to get involved with this young girl if it was my daughter i would do the same and would wounder what a 50 yr old man wants from my 18 yr old daughter she has her whole life ahead of her
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A
male
reader, Kyle007  +, writes (20 August 2011):
I am an American, so I don't know the laws in Canada, but over here you are a legal adult at the age of 18. Theoretically, she could move in with you and there would not be a thing her parents could do about it.Save that, she can move out and you can continue seeing her.Also, if she is of legal age, and you did not do anything illegal, see if you can see an attorney about taking legal action against the parent for firing you. In their eyes this may have been immoral, but the law may say that you still have the right to your job.Once again, I don't know how the laws are in your country, but I think over here in the USA the parents would be in a lot of trouble for firing you over this. I commend you for not having sex with her. Lastly, if you were carrying on with her during work hours and it affected your job performance, then the parents do have a right to fire you. And you would have acted immoral in that regard.Other than that, I don't think you are immoral. I think that an age difference like that makes a relationship impractical, as she is going to out-live you, but otherwise please don't feel like you did wrong. I feel for her, too.
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A
female
reader, NennaHB  +, writes (20 August 2011):
 First of all I fail to understand when you say "we fell in love,believe it or not, both our first love" For her - OK, but you? Never been married? Kids? When you say you are old fashioned, sex after marriage ... you make it sound like you are a 50-year old virgin. Some background info might be useful for fully understanding the story.Her parents' reaction is the normal one, you might even be older than her father. As from your part there would not be much to lose, for her being with you could mean rupture from her family. As a teenager you don't realize the implications of such a decision. And if your relationship won't work out, who will she turn to?When I was 23 I was deeply in love with a man who was 27 years my senior. I loved him madly but he feared I will soon start looking for men my age. So 2 years later he left me without any explanation and heartbroken. To this very day, the thought of him hurts. He never re-married and I would have loved him still if it weren't for his choice.You should also consider that at some point she might want children. Are you ready to be a parent with her?When in doubt, I never go to my instincts because they are wrong when I am so involved. I turn to reason: I simply make a list of PROs and CONs and see which weighs more.Let us know how things will work out!
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