A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been in a relationship for the past 6 years! The first 3 years of our relationship i was fitting for our relationship he treated me like crap but now things are really good, I'm young but i do love my boyfriend he is living a couple thousand miles away right now But now I'm falling for my best friend we've been friends for about 2 years and hes perfect i love him so much, And recently us getting together sexually has came up! I just don't want to hurt my boyfriend; i really need help i'm so confused what should i do?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2010): There is an old saying "what goes around comes around". So don't cheat on ur BF. He has been with you for six years tried and tested(Old is gold). Try making your bond with your BF more strong. There are many articles on net on how to make a long distance relationship works.
Best wishes!!!!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2010): Distance in relationships cause trust, temptation, and communication issues therefore I dont understand why two people stay together in that manner. Its only proper for you miss to end the current relationship then proceed with this man. However, Id recommend you take time to emotionally heal and prepare yourslef for your next possible relationship, not just jump into it with your "BFF" as that can do you some harm. Doesnt hurt to take time and really think this thru, esp after a long term relationship. Also, if this new man is a mutual friend between you and your current bf, then that also causes a possible conflict because of the emotional significance experienced by both men. When you say perfect, this seems to me youve built quite an expectation for this new man. To me, this is unhealthy. Soon you will possibly realize some mistakes he's made and you will see his current mistakes as well. Never put us men on a pedestal. We are human. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2010): no i have not seen him! i will not see him until the end of December, thanks for your input it helps alot! :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2010): listen to me right now! SEX DOES NOT = LOVE don't forget that
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A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (2 October 2010):
Hi there. Your boyfriend of 6 years now lives a couple of thousand miles away. It's been for about 2 years now.
No matter how much you say you love your boyfriend, the distance is getting in the way. Do you ever see him now?
It's not really surprising that you have now developed a relationship with this other man, who also happens to be a friend of yours. So you were just friends (but best friends), and now it's graduated to sex as well.
Is it an actual relationship or are you still best friends, and have sex now as well. What I'm asking is, are you both a couple now, or do you see other people as well? Are you exclusive with each other?
If you are exclusively seeing each other (this new man, who is also a friend), then you are going to have to make a decision over time as to whether to let your boyfriend know what has happened. He does have a right to know, and out of respect for him also. You at least owe him that, surely. Don't leave him dangling and wondering if he still has a chance with you.
Don't leave it too long though. In the meantime before you do make a decision to let your boyfriend know, you will first have to think about who you like more between the two of them. Only then can you make a choice.
Hope this helps you. Take care and best wishes.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2010): There are a few options here:1) You break it off with the boyfriend and get going with the new guy. This is one of the more honorable ways to end it. But it does have the disadvantage of hurting someone who is not a fault and then there's the pain you feel if the new guy doesn't work out and the old one won't take you back.2) You tell the new guy to get bent and continue with the old one. This is another honorable option. It also has the disadvantage of hurting someone who is, at the moment, guilty only of falling in love with he cannot have. But there is also the fact you make yourself unhappy if you fall out of love with your boyfriend, but stick it out because you are afraid to hurt him.3) You sleep with the new guy on he side, while still with your boyfriend. This is the easiest solution. It is also the most cowardly and lowest of them. It WILL end badly for all concerned. Your boyfriend will be oblivious to the fact his relationship is a sham, and the new guy will grow so emotionally attached to you that he will resent the fact that you are not fully committed to him.Inevitably it will be discovered. And your boyfriend will suffer the worst of it. And likely the pain will destroy any semblance of happiness you may think you have with the new guy. Because, even if it is not sudden, he WILL eventually understand that you cheated on a decent guy, which he will percieve himself to be. He will then go crazy with the thought that if you can cheat on one decent guy, whats to stop you cheating on another.Seriously. Break it off with at least one of them. Or both. There is no way you can avoid hurting yourself and them.Flynn 24
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (2 October 2010):
 You have known your boyfriend longer and you have been his girlfriend for much longer than you have been this boy's friend. Just say no. He cannot be a very good friend if he keeps asking or tempting you into having sex with him.
I hope that helps.
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A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (2 October 2010):
 Don't go there. Either break up with your boyfriend and pursue the friend or tell the friend you are a no go zone for sex. Cheating on your BF will creat BIG BIG problems for you.
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