A
female
age
30-35,
*iabia713
writes:hi im 18 years old and My boyfriend and I have recently broken up after dating for a year and seven months. I broke up with him on like "break terms" because he wasn't happy. he was always hot and cold when we were together one minute he was lovey dovey next minute hed pull himself away. I knew he wanted to live the single life for a while because he felt that he wants to live and experience a little before he commits. He didn't want to do this "break" thing because he didnt want to lose me but i told him he wont i love him and i want him to be happy i just need him to get all this out of his system so when we do get back together we will be happy again. That's the thing the waiting process is killing me he wants to get back together but he wants to wait because he doesnt want to be his old self again, he doesnt want to hurt me. I know you probably think this is silly but he even tells me i'm the one he wants in the end,that we will get back together because he knows there is no one out there that will treat him as ood as i have, I'm his number one, and that he wants to marry me one day. I believe everything he says i just hate not knowing when he'll come back or what if he doesnt like did i do the right thing? and what are some sure things that'll work a lil on my half to get him back faster. I love this guy so much and alot of people question what i'm doing and call it stupid but this is the only thing I fell thats right so far. Lately he calls me and calls me baby and says i love you like if were together almost but obviously were not h. I try not to be the first one to call or text. and He came and visited me at work and then really wanted to hang out the next day and he sounded dissapointed when i told him i had work but we still managed to hang out about an hour or 2 before work he kisses me and hugs me amd i know he really means it when he does but cuz hed never do anything he didnt want to or say anything he didnt mean. so I really need someone who is really good at this stuff and have seen it all to help me out a little. i hope maybe you can give me some advice that would be really appreciated so much.i know im waiting in a way but at the same time i have been focusing on me and getting my stuff done. i know theres other guys out there i know i can have another guy i know i will not die without him but i do know i love him and i want him outta everyone. not because im scared to be alone or all that other excuses people use but honestly i just want to be with him.
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male
reader, Boy Blue +, writes (3 October 2010):
If you REALLY want him to have his space and for you to not be in this amount of torture the both of you can't be calling each other and saying things that implies a relationship. What's the point of him breaking up if he hasn't done anything with other girls. What's the point of you making him break up if you intend to keep a decent amount of contact. Yeah I get that the both of you are young. He needs to decide for himself what he wants. So give him his space. If he asks, then just tell him that you aren't angry or anything but just giving some space so the both of you can have a clear head.
If I had a chance to talk to him though, I'd say stick with you coz having an understanding girl = you are already ahead of everyone else. But he doesn't see that so he needs to figure it out himself. He can only do that if he stops talking to you for some time.
A
female
reader, ciabia713 +, writes (2 October 2010):
ciabia713 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks so much i really appreciate it and i agree with somethings and we currently ar discussing what to do because i tld him i cant do this. i hate him being with other girls just the thought of it kills me. he hasnt done anything with anyone or spoken to any girls. The one thing is that i broke it off with him cuz i knew he wasnt happy because i knew he needed this. he didnt want to cuz he didnt want to lose me. but i made him...he was being miserable and treating me bad because he needed space to be single for a bit not just for the freedom but to have no worries i guess. he calls me and stuff and i told him if you want me to say goodbye for good i will and he was like noooo. So we dnt know wat to do. idk if this makes any difference but hes 3months younger so hes 17.
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A
male
reader, Boy Blue +, writes (2 October 2010):
So you love him and you have been focusing on yourself. Thats great. It's your choice to wait for him or not. Just hope you realize that you have a lot of waiting to do. He's having a great time with a girl who is waiting for him and he gets to screw all the other girls he wants. It is great that you are understanding but it is not fair for a guy to lead on a girl like that.
My advice = test the waters yourself. You wont die without him so you wont die dating new guys since you are single. Reality is that this guy doesn't love you as much as he says else he would be with you. You think that there are things you can do to win him over but he's already broken up with you. I would suppose the only chance you have is to sort of make him jealous by dating others. Be strong and admit that you are fed up of waiting on him and that you hate what he is doing to you. You are blinded by love, but a one sided love at that. It's not that we think it is silly....but YOU already know that it is silly. You don't think he's just telling you things to lead you on?
But hey, maybe he does come around. I have no idea. At the moment there isn't really much you can do, other than waiting. Good luck!
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