A
female
age
51-59,
*myjake
writes:My ex is engaged,. I just moved out of the house a month and a half ago. I am so hurt. I lost twenty pounds. He tells me to give him some time he needs to find himself. He is not even admitting to me he is engaged.(He says a promise ring) We have been together over ten years. I am heart broken. What can I do. he is in a rebound relationship with a childhood friend. He thinks I cheated on him but never did. Please someone help and lead me in the right direction. I love him and just dontknow what to do. He wont even talk to me. He says he will always love me but has to move on.
View related questions:
engaged, move on, moved out Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2011): I hate guys that do that... they just don't want to feel like "dicks" so they say things like "i will love you forever" but i'm moving on?! ugh... I'm sorry, I totally understand what it feels lilke when someone has broken your heart, it's just sooo selfish, if he was an actual MAN, he would be straight forward and tell you the truth of what's going on with his new relationship, yes, i know you guys aren't together anymore and you might have no rights to ask for an explanation but it's call CONSIDERATION, you guys had a long relationship, it's just out of respect, if you ever loved someone you would do that. In terms of Love I've learn that it's either black or white, he wants you or not, there's nothing in the middle, guys would so anything in their power to be with the girl they wanna be with, just as womens are. Give time sweetie, time heals everything, try to spend time with your closest friends and talk about it, have fun, go out, or do whatever you do for fun, change your look, feel sexy and pretty, go shopping for a new outfit... this all seem to helped me and move on, he would always be in your heart though, but at least once you are over it, you would be able to appreciate a good man coming into your life and appreciate who you are, just wait, you'll see :)
A
male
reader, ironman777  +, writes (18 May 2011):
Ok - I just broke up with my girlfriend over the weekend and we both told each other we still love each other, its more around circumstances that has caused us to pause and say ok, either we take the time now to resolve some issues or it will really cause us to split up for good. But anyway, the point I was making was I am truely still deeply in love with my ex, and I just cannot think about going out and meeting other people let alone dating. Its like we are still monogomous even though there is no reason to be - I wouldnt want to hurt her more by hooking up with random people and I'm sure she feels the same. Seems to me like you can safely move on from this relationship and consider it a clean break.
...............................
A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (18 May 2011):
 It makes me angry when relationships end because someone moves on and yet they still claim to love the person they are leaving.
I can kind of see why he has left if he thinks you cheated and it's sad if you were never given a chance to explain if it never happened.
he may very well be in a rebound relationship as it is very soon to be getting engaged...the most irritating thing is that you have absolutely no right to have a say in what he is doing now. You have a right, of course to defend yourself against the acusation of cheating but if he doesn't accept the explaination then again, there is nothing you can do.
People often say they still love and care about their ex because they don't want to look like the bad guy/girl, but it is their actions that speak clearly what is in their heart.
I know you probably feel really devestated, it's hard to go through something like this and stay sane.
You could write everything in a letter or e-mail to him. You can explain that you didn't cheat (maybe explain the circumstances that lead up to him believing you had cheated)and try to put things right. Say how you feel but try not to be too dramatic because it will discredit you.
He may respond or he may not. Right now it seems he doesn't want to communicate with you but a letter or e-mail can be read at his leisure with no interruption.
He should not have told you he still loves you because that's cruel, but people do that all the time. A clean break is better and easier to recover from.
I feel for you and I hope you find some peace.
Em x
...............................
|
