A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey everyone. I really appreciate any thooughts or opinions anyone can give me on this problem. My boyfriend broke up with me during the summer and I found it really really hard. A lot of the time it looked like we were going to get back together but it never happened, and a lot of people are telling me he misses me and stuff. I'm in college and have a great social life. The thing is though, my ex moved into the same apartment complex when he heard I would be living there, and since then things haven't been good :( He has completely cut people out of his life who he has been friends with for years, simply because they are also friends with me. He's being so horrible and mean to them. He ignores me now. At the start of the college year he tried to kiss me on nights out and would ring and text me a bit, but now he doesn't even acknowledge me.Honestly, I still love him so much and it breaks my heart that we're not together anymore. I miss him so much. I'm so confused though as to why he's cutting people out and being so mean and rude. He ended the relationship, not me :(Can someone please give me their opinion on what they thinks going on in his head!! xxx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2009): I dont think that you want the kind of advice that people say just move on, you will do better without him.
you wont because your inlove with him, guys are dickheads when they know they have feelings, he might be stubborn and not want to admit it. If you have done nothing wrong then i cant see why he would truly hate you, now since you went out for a while and he has changed now your not together doesnt mean this is his true self, just means he could miss you or trying to move on but cant and the easyest way is to pretend he doesn't like you, he might be trying to make it clear he doesnt want you anymore not saying it 'cant' mean that, but if you are still inlove with him and want him back then try, dont let anyone tell you to move on or get over him, because they dont know the other side of him like you do.
just play it a bit cool, dont stress.
be nice to him and let him be mean, make him feel guilty about it but i dont mean this as in beg him to change back.
maybe talk to him? harder said than done i know but maybe its your only or last option? what can you lose eh?
im in the same situation exept my ex and i were together for 4 years we always broke up and got back together until one time we didn't get back together cuz we had a silly argument, he now has a new girlfriend that he cheats on all the time with, and now he aparently hates me, i dont believe it for one second to be honest, he just hates me because its easier then showing that he loves me, thats what i think anyway,
goodluck to you, hope everything works out.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2009): Just sounds like he is an angry person and angry people are not nice. If someone is mean, they can hide it and disguise it, but eventually it spills out and shows it ugly head. When you where in a relationship with him, he tried to hide who he truly is, but he doesn't need to do so anymore, so now you get to see what he is really made of.
Give yourself time to heal. You can't just get rid of feelings overnight, you have to give them time to lose their potency. In the meantime, try to avoid any contact with him so you don't bring up old feelings and reinforce them :) Good luck to you.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (21 October 2009):
Well now you know he's no good, so just stop contact with him and let him be this way. He's the one who's going to lose out.
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A
male
reader, Anadin +, writes (21 October 2009):
 i think he just wants to cut ties with you to get over your relationship within himself, and he shuts himself away to deal with his problems. give him a couple of weeks or a month, if the behaviour continues then try and be a friend to him and ask him what the matter is and if you can help in any way....its important to try and keep the contact platonic, yuo dont want him throwing it back in your face in a harsh way.
in the meantime enjoy spending time with your friends and try to forget about him, if he wants to shut himself off from the world, let him, he will come around eventually. maybe his friends may provide insight?
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A
female
reader, bitch  +, writes (21 October 2009):
I feel like there is information missing from this post because it doesn't make sense that he would break up with you and then be angry about it and act this way. Is there anything else going on that you didn't mention? For instance why did you guys break up? What was his reason for ending the relationship in the first place? I don't understand why he is so angry with you. There is more behind this that we need to know about in order to give you advice and help you.
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A
female
reader, Tine +, writes (21 October 2009):
 I think this guy broke up with you and just expected everyone else to take his side. The fact that he is being so mean and rude to his friends should open your eyes to the fact that this guy is no good. The time when you split up from your partner is the time when you need your friends the most and he is shutting everyone out. Maybe he just needs a bit of space to gather his thoughts? that i am unsure of.
But honestly you should concentrate more on what is happening in your life not his, as you say he is the one who broke it off with you. You are in a new enviornment now with college and i know you are meeting new people, even if he is just a couple of apartments away you should still enjoy life and get used to your new surroundings. This guy will soon realise that shutting everyone out isn't such a good idea, however it is not you job to make him see this.
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