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Ex-boyfriend said eeeew referring to me in a bikini. Do I confront him?

Tagged as: The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 July 2010) 20 Answers - (Newest, 25 July 2010)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Well, me and my best fried were swimming and having a wonderful time, when my boyfriend texts me I get her phone, because mine was practically dead, and when I get her phone she gets a text message from her boyfriend and he is talking about me, I go through her messages, she writes: ya me and and my bestie are dancing on the boat in our bikinis, and he write back: DAMN I DID NOT need to no that, ewww!!!!!!!!

Is it wrong for me to be mad at him, definately when we dated for over 9 months, I mean the whole time we were dating is that what he thought of me???

wat should i do abot this???

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Well, thanks again, you all have helped me alot, and next time I have any problems, i'm writing on here, and I hope you all can help me again!!!

THANKS!!

:)

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (25 July 2010):

Tisha-1 agony auntI want to add that I completely agree with Honeypie's answer. She reminded me of the fact that he is your ex and chose to date your best friend. Neither are very considerate of your feelings.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (25 July 2010):

Honeypie agony auntHoney, there are more guys out there then jsut that ONE.. First off I would ignore his comment, but I really wouldn't be chasing after him either.

After you guys broke up HE chose to date your friend and your friend obviously had no scruples dating him (which is totally against the girlfriend code, but never mind that)

If you don't really care for your current BF, then let him down easy. It's not really fair that he is liking you a whole lot and you are just using him as a rebound guy while waiting for someone "better".

Have a little faith in yourself. you deserve to be with a guy who likes you as much as you like him.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks that helps a whole lot, and I think I may do that, thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:)

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (25 July 2010):

Tisha-1 agony auntAnd just to think this through a little further, if you're still in love with the ex, don't you think confronting him about his stupid comment will only make you look like a snoop (for going through your friend's phone), insecure (for doubting that you are as cute as I'm sure you are), and still hung up on him (which is a problem as you have a new boyfriend)?

I think your best strategy to recapture his attention is to become available (break up with the boy you don't really want), suddenly mysterious (don't tell your bestie everything you are feeling, because she will tell him) and to have a whole lot of fun with other people and new friends?

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (25 July 2010):

Tisha-1 agony auntBut you can still hang out with her and have a wonderful time? Gosh, I would have probably kept my distance then, she doesn't sound like she actually fits the definition of a best friend to me.

I think I'd ignore the ex and the bestie for being so immature. Hang out with her if you want but I really don't think she has your best interests at heart.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Well, I'm relly only 15 and I don't know, I was lonely and my current boyfriend was there for me. and I don't know because she's a jerk and wanted to hurt me. I begged her not to date him but she did anyways.

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (25 July 2010):

Tisha-1 agony auntHow old are you exactly? This is sounding more like the early teens than later ones.

If you are still in love with him, why do you have a boyfriend and why is your bestie dating your ex?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

But what if his current girlfriend is my sister/best friend??????

THen what do I do??

:/

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (25 July 2010):

CindyCares agony aunt Then perhaps you should not be so chummy and hang out so much with his current girlfriend, isn't that doing things

more painful for you ?...

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

thanks, you all have helped me alot, but what if i still am like in love with him??????????

:'(

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A male reader, Starmonster888 United Kingdom +, writes (24 July 2010):

Starmonster888 agony auntHe's a your ex, it's almost his job to be jerk.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (24 July 2010):

Honeypie agony auntIgnore it, ignore him.

Live life & be happy - WHO CARES what he thinks?

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A female reader, missdimples3 United States +, writes (24 July 2010):

missdimples3 agony auntI wouldn't worry about him.. just childish ex boyfriend.

who cares what he thinks anyways!! as long as you know your self n you are having fun... keep doing what you're dooing have fun n don't let a stupid ex get to yoU! live it up. :)

xx

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A female reader, johannabanana United States +, writes (24 July 2010):

johannabanana agony auntHe may not have been even talking about that... He could have meant that in some kind of ewwww you guys are so bi curious for dancing around together in your skimpy bikinis.... Maybe he just meant it some other way?...Maybe it was some immature guy having a different mental picture? Either way don't confront him that will only give him satisfaction.

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A female reader, pinktopaz United States +, writes (24 July 2010):

No, he is being immature. And he may have not said "eww" to you being in a bikini, he's your ex? So he may have just been referring to her hanging out with you. Or it could have been that he was just trying to put her down because he's jealous that he's not on the boat while you girls are out on a boat dancing in your bikinis and having fun without him. Don't worry about him, don't let his stupid remarks bring you down.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2010):

**chances are.

And to comment on that other comment, i dont think he was being ignorant. He just didnt know how to react at the moment. But guys rarely let a girl know that theyre jealous so eww is probably a normal response. Would you like it if one of his friends tells you that theyre on boat dancing in their Speedos? Difference is a girl has no problem expressing their jelousy.

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A male reader, xnickx United States +, writes (24 July 2010):

xnickx agony auntDo absolutely nothing.

My ex's best friend texted me a picture of my ex in a bikini. I replied DAMN i didnt want to see that.

Take no offense to it, you're out of his life, he wants nothing to do with you, he doesnt want to picture you in a bikini.

Much like i dont want to have to picture my ex's in their bikinis.

Nick.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2010):

Honey he said eww to cover his manhood. Picture for a moment what went through his mind. His girls friend just told him that they are dancing on a boat in their bikinis. Hes thinking guys are all around you getting freaky and youre enjoying it maybe even rapping to some dude. Especially if you didnt tell him you would be in some boat party.

If eww is how he felt about you, chamber are he wouldnt be with you

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2010):

Ignore it. He's being immature and stupid. Furthermore, if you confront him, he'll know you went through your friend's phone, which you shouldn't have done anyway. Who cares if he thought you in a bikini was gross the entire time you dated him? You have a boyfriend now who doesn't think that.

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