A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi all at dear cupid,Im really stressing out at the moment, im still really in love with my ex bf,we split about 3 weeks ago now, and i use to ring him every other day when we split, but this week, we've spoken every single day this week, and i also ended up sleeping with him, anyway last nite he rang, but as i was going out he never asked me, but this morning he said he was going to ask me if i wanted to come round last nite which i would have said yes,but as i was going out,he said i missed my chance, im going out with him tonight with his family down the pub, he said i could stay over but his daughter may tell her mum, the reason why we split as he said he was still in lv with her, anyway they where getting on fine but not together yet thats what he says and i belive him there not getting on very well at the mo but he still goes down the pub with her, i think hes hoping they will get back together,But i cant understand why he was going to ask me over lastnite when he says he like being single and doesnt want a relationship with me again as she will get in the way like keep texting like she used to, she doesnt want him but doesnt want anyone else to either,my mate said he may want me back but im not so sure, he said the other day he realises what hes lost with me,.Please any advice with what people think. x
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2008): I wasted five years with a man that sounds alot like this guy; he continued to hurt me and string me along as long as I allowed it. He is not and has not treated you with respect. Him telling you that you "missed your chance" is so disrespectful- like you have to take a number and wait for some of his affection. You should not have to be in competition with his child's mother. He is obviously playing games with both of you. It will hurt and you'll be lonely for awhile, but you are better off without him. There is someone else out there who will love you like you deserve.
A
female
reader, Miss Potter +, writes (1 November 2008):
 Sounds like he just wants sex and since you are vulnerable its easy to get it with you.
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A
female
reader, shiraz +, writes (1 November 2008):
hiyah firstly im going to be honest with you as i think itll be the best for you- youd be better off without him! a lot better off, hes treated you quite bad and never given you clear signals as where you stand and if you even have a relationship. hes treated you unfairly and literally made you hang on while he waits for something better (im sorry that hurts i know but some guys work like that) and im not saying they are all the same but its like this guy doesnt know what he wants and doesnt mind messing you up in order to figure out what hes next to do.
he said you missed your chance how old is he 5? hes acting imature and selfish towards you and you seem a genuine person that doesnt deserve it!
so move on, i know how hard it is when you fall deep and you pin everything on hm wanting you back but sometimes you have to take a step out from it all and look at it and think hang on do i really want this?
he realises what he lost with you is his way of saying o i made a mistake im lonely again ,dont be treated like this over and over se it for what it is now or hell take all you have and affect your future relationships. you deserve someone better, who respects you and loves you back as im sorry but i dont think this guy does, given the way he constantly treats you. it must be lowering for you and you need to build yourself back up and be the stronger person.
let him go run his own life and sort himself out, you might just be giving him a much needed wake up call.
i really hope you move on and find somebody worthy but i know its going to be hard and some fall back into the same routine of thinking its a normal way of being treated, you seem stronger so let it go. i really think its best for you in the long run.
hes a lot messed up and you need to start building up your own stable life with a good future outcome.
best of luck - hope all goes well for you xxx
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A
female
reader, bubbloo24  +, writes (1 November 2008):
 I know this is probably not going to be what you want to hear, but I think it needs to be said.
No sex with the ex is rule one of breaking up because if you keep doing it, your feelings won't die down and you'll find yourself even more heartbroken than you were to begin with. You will feel used.
The reason he's asking you to stay over hun, is so that you will sleep with him again. It appears to me that he wants you two to be "f*ck buddies" until he manages to get with his ex. You really don't want to get into that kind of situation. By making you sleep with him, he's being incredibly unfair to you by not letting you get over him when he's over you (it would seem. He's having his cake and eating it at the moment. Don't let him continue this.
What I suggest to you is that you have a clean break. Don't ring him all the time, don't let him weedle his way back into your life just so he can use you for sex, just keep away from him.
It has, as you said, been only three weeks since you broke up with him, you can't expect things to go back to normal in such a small amount of time.
Tell him that you need a clean break from him and that you need time alone so that you can get over him. As he says, you two will not be getting back together. You need to accept this and move on. Not become his bit on the side.
Clean break is what's needed, hun. I seriously suggest you take this option as it comes from someone who went the wrong way about the same situation and became very heartbroken from it.
Take care xx
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