A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello all.My boyfriend and I have a great sex life, it's exciting and always fun. The only "problem" is that he can't cum through me giving him a blowjob. I've had him close several times, but it's like he can't let go enough to actually cum. It frustrates him, as he really wants to, and I would love for him to be able to. I've told him to just relax and it'll happen in time, but he beats himself up over it. I enjoy going down on him, as I know he loves it, and I try new things to see what he likes the most.Any advice?Thank you all in advance,and I hope you have a great day!
View related questions:
blow-job, sex life Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2011): Hi.
Thanks for all the replies. I just want to clarify that I don't see it as a problem,that's why I wrote it the way I did,with the " around the word.I don't put pressure on him,but I know he puts pressure on himself when it comes to this.
No,he's never been able to cum through a blowjob,but also,he did have a bad experience with a girl who gave him a blowjob once.I'm wondering if that's why he can't let go completely?
I will try your suggestions,and I will try the 69.That one I've been a bit..maybe not worried..but..the position intimidates me,I think.I will try it,though.I'm pretty new to sex,but I enjoy trying out stuff to do in bed.
Thank you all again!
A
male
reader, JustHelpinAgain  +, writes (16 September 2011):
Have you tried the 69 approach? Sometimes its hard for a guy just to receive and not be able to give, excuse the pun.
...............................
A
male
reader, Hugh.J +, writes (15 September 2011):
 I suspect it's not emotional pressure, jmtmj, but physical pressure - or rather, lack of it. I bet he cums well enough when he goes solo, because he will grip himself harder than your mouth does.
Try using your hand, firmly, at the same time.....
...............................
A
female
reader, AlleP  +, writes (15 September 2011):
Tell him not to try to come. If you tell him to relax and just come, well.. that does put pressure on and works against what you are trying to achieve.That first come can be difficult, but I think after the first time you will both find it easier.Try getting him to go a week without masturbating, then give him a lovely slow blowjob, starting out with kissing all over his body, teasing him a bit and save taking his cock into your mouth till the end.. Then take your time. And don't make it about him coming - make it about him enjoying the blowjob. Maybe something like "You can come whenever you want, but don't try to come, I just want you to enjoy the blowjob."Good luck!
...............................
A
female
reader, KittieS +, writes (15 September 2011):
 Hello
I don't think it's a problem, maybe as you both see it as one that it then feels like it's a bigger problem - sex should be fun and relaxed.
I imagine now everytime you go down on him, all he thinks about is trying to cum, and your thinking you want to make him cum - not very relaxing :)
You could try using your hand as well as your mouth (firm grip round the base) so he gets a double sensation... I always see a BJ as a warm up for the main event, so I think take off the pressure, don't expect him to cum until hes having sex with you, who knows as you both relax you might just get a surprise (personaly not the sort of surprise I like lol) just take it as it comes (no pun intended) and enjoy each other!!
...............................
A
male
reader, serenity80 +, writes (15 September 2011):
Lots of guys can't cum with a blowjob. Has he received oral sex from previous partners where he has been able to cum?
...............................
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (15 September 2011):
 I don't have a direct personal experience of this problem, but I think it's a problem...only if you decide to see it as one. Everybody is different, everbody reacts strongly to certain stimulations and feebly or not at all to other ones.... why does he HAVE to come through BJs? Nothing is mandatory in sex .
...............................
A
male
reader, Jmtmj +, writes (15 September 2011):
 "I've told him to just relax and it'll happen in time"
Problem is that's not true for all people. Some guys, myself included just can't finish that way. If I ever do then I'll let you know the secret, but being completely relaxed, time, emotional connection, you name it, just haven't worked for me.
I don't think the pressure you're both putting on him to finish is really helping him "relax" to be honest...
...............................
|
