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36-40,
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writes: ok this isn't about a relationship with a partner but about the death of my gran!Last November my Nan fell and hurt her rist, she recovered but became more immobile! March of this year she was rushed into hospital because she couldn't breathe and had to be put on oxygen. Some days she was quite alert and there was other where she couldnt speak. One day I went to see her to try and encourage to eat....but she looked awful, her mouth was frothing and she was actually sitting up..it was quite weird. The nurse called my mum and I and told us she only had minutes left and 20 minutes later she peacefully passed away.However, since then my mum wont talk about what happened at all. I keep having nightmares about my nan dying infront of me and im screaming help and noone comes and my mum's and I relationship, its just not close anymore, I barely see her and when I do she wont talk about it or she will pick an argument with me over nothing.I just dont know what to do, please can someone give me advice???
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2011): Firstly, i can imagine how you are feeling. My nan passed away from Cancer whilst i was visiting. Its not a nice sight to see i know. Also the girl i happen to be seeing is pretty broken with her past and her grandad dieing, she acts out because of it and i'm literally around 24/7 because i have to talk some sense into her and cheer her up. Anyways enough about me, let me give you some advice.
You have to talk to your mum about this, your mum may not want to talk. She may still not be able to cope with this herself. But you have to talk together. Try arrange a date. Say that you need to get something off your chest. Say you are really upset by it. Say what comes from the heart. Also, if the nightmares are giving you trouble, talking may very well solve this issue. But if not, doctors are the way to go as a start. They may or may not be able to do anything, but in the least they can atleast offer some understanding.
I'm sorry to hear of your loss. We've all been there.
Best wishes. Hope you and your mums relationship is rebuilt.
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