A
female
age
30-35,
*andee
writes:Dear Cupid ,My name is Randee, I married a 42 year old man when i was only 18, and everybody wants me to get divorced.But i love him too much, we also had a baby together. He also did drugs. What should i do?
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male
reader, Nanook  +, writes (21 October 2008):
Drugs is a broad term, are we talking a joint now and then or a heroin addiction? Is it something that affects his ability to function or endangers him or people around him?
I've got a relative that married someone 30 years her senior, they've been together for more than 15 years and have a child together and are quite happy. Her father was pretty unhappy at the time because the guy she married was older than him, but HIS father is still alive and physically fit so there is no reason to believe he won't be for decades to come. The relatives who objected at first, objected less as their kid got into the cute years and it became clear it wasn't just a transient affair but real love.
So, if the drug problem is serious then you need to consider what to do about it, will he consider treatment?
If it's not a serious issue and there is love there, then don't divorce him because of what others want; they'll get over it when they see both of you are happy a few years down the road.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2008): Definitely need more information. Though outsiders do see clearer, it's always nice to have those people give you specific reasons. If he's working, a good daddy, a good husband and doesn't do drugs, I'm not seeing an issue.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (21 October 2008):
 It's difficult to say. We don't know if your life with him is good despite his having used drugs. I also wonder whether he is currently using drugs, or whether this is something he put behind.
If the only reason to leave him were his age, then I would say no. But maybe you can tell us more about this.
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A
female
reader, getright11 +, writes (21 October 2008):
 i think you should listen to what your family and friends tell you becuase they see it ALOT better than you do. and i know thats hard to hear but its true. so if more than one person is saying it must be for a specific reason.
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