A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello aunts and uncles! A few months ago I posted a question saying I couldn't bear to leave a guy who was attached. Well, I finally did and I was happy with life until 2 days ago. Now, his girlfriend and her umbrage of popular friends are mad at me because she thinks I'm the two timer when clearly it was her boyfriend. I've been receiving messages, of which some are threatening. I don't know what she wants with me but she said she would pursue the matter and keeps lashing at me. What I can't stand is she acting so self-righteous when she herself has Hanky panky with other guys. She acts as the victim when I was the one who was toyed around. The senior pleaded with me not to tell anyone because he wanted to salvage his relationship. Right now, everyone thinks it's my fault when I don't even know what's going on. All they seem to do is put the blame on me for her failed relationship. I'm really frustrated and would appreciate your help. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (17 January 2011):
The only advice here I can offer is that you need to learn from this.
The MISTRESS always gets the blame - period. I've never yet heard of a cheating man getting more of the blame than the mistress.
Whether you like it or not, you chose to see a guy who was with another girl. That makes you guilty, and it makes you the target for the blame. She wants to make the relationship work, so she's bound to blame you more than him.
And as for her having cheated, I'm afraid that has no bearing on you taking the blame for what you've done wrong - and you are in the wrong.
Learn from this - taken men are not an option. Ever. Your reputation will now be seen as hugely damaged, and unless you rise above all this and disappear from his life, you will be seen as a bad bet in the future.
Forget this guy, forget her, accept your share of the blame and work to prove yourself as more than just someone who steals boyfriends. This reputation will follow you unless you change now.
A
female
reader, LittleMissy +, writes (17 January 2011):
No Iv been through this. It's impossible to "steal" someone. Like when you were a kid and youd cry that so and so had "stolen" ypir best friend. If it wasn't you he cheated with it would have been somebody else. Girls tend to get the blame in situations like this due to how society expects them to behave. The boy cheats and it's the other girls fault. The girl cheats and it's still her fault and not the other boys.
I'm not saying what you did was right, and of course she's angry, but it definitely takes two so tell him to man up and take some of the responsibilty. At your age this stuff blows over in a couple of weeks, when somebody else does something to gossip about. You could try talk to her and explain you never meant for her to get hurt and tell her her boyfriends part in it. And it future watch who you give your heart to. Hope this helps and feel free to message me. X
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2011): Hey, you are far from innocent and did you expect no consequences from trying to steal someone's boyfriend? People always find someone to blame (human nature) and you put yourself in that position. Good reason to not ever try and take what belongs to someone else.
...............................
|
