A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Okay, I have another big question. So I call him yesterday and we talked for about 14 minutes, and he tells me he still loves me. I ask him if he thought we could ever be again. He says well you'd have to straighten a lot of your crap out. Then he says I need time to think. Does that mean he needs time to think or he just needs more time to just get over me and forget me? Cause before we hang up we both say I love you. And he swears he will call. But the waiting game is Killing Me!!!!! What do I do? Do I believe there is hope or do I believe he is lying to just get over me?
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (1 July 2011):
 I think he was pretty clear, he said he'd consider it if you'd straighten your crap out. I.e., if you make certain changes .
Do you know exactly what crap is he talking about ? Do you agree it's crap, or that's only his opinion ? Could you straighten it out, or is that an inherent part of your personality ? Would you change it if you could ?
These are the questions you have to ask yourself. Basically he said he is not Ok with the way you are now, and for you two to be together you should become different.
It all depends. If you are a shoplifter or an alcoholist, I guess he is right. If the crap is , for instance, that you want a monogamous relationship, and he wants to be free to have multiple sexual partners... why should you change to accomodate him.
A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (1 July 2011):
Hi there. What he says is probably the truth - that he does want to have a think about it.
It also depends on what he means by - "Straighten some of your crap out". By this it seems, he has some issues with some of the things you've done before.
It is wise now, to wait until he does call you. Don't jump in first and try to call him. That makes you appear clingy, insecure and a little controlling.
You are going to have to be patient and wait. There really is no other choice.
Then if after he does have a think about everything, and does want to resume your relationship, then you will need to sit down with him and have a talk about what needs changing in the relationship.
That will be the time to be totally honest with each other.
Until then though, you can do nothing more.
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