A
female
age
36-40,
*oveelost
writes:I made a mistake the other night, I was a psycho girlfriend. My boyfriend and I were going to hang out as normal around 730 to watch a game on tv. He called about 620 to say he was going to his old bosses and might not be back right on time but he'd call. Meantime had to take stuff to my friend at work because she needed it. She works right by where he lives and by the college he used to go to. When I'm with her, I get this gut feeling he's not where he said, I felt he was at the college. I tried shaking it but decided to prove I was being silly and paranoid by just driving there to clear my mind. So I went, didn't see him.... because he was following me. I don't know for how long, but long enough. Confronts me and asks what the hell I'm doing there and out of panic I lied saying I was getting my friend's stuff to take to her work. He knew I was lying, called me out on being a creep and said he thought I was done doing stalker shit (in past i have driven past his house, i admit it, but he also was sneaking with another girl at the time, but that's over) and says goodbye. Wouldn't talk about it, I said i thought he was at his bosses, he says he stopped by a friend's. I ask if he's ever going to speak to me again and he goes wow you really are a psycho and left. Later put a message on facebook saying he's trying to steer clear of psychos. Hasn't spoken to me since. This was last week. I called yesterday first time and no answer or call back. Is what I did forgiveable or no? Or does it seem like he's done with me? (for reference, know he's cheated before but i never confronted him even though i knew. therefore i get suspcious. lots of girls text him all the time too. only other creepy thing i did was around xmas he left a party with a girl and didnt tell me and i went looking for them then stayed outside on the side of a house to hear their convo) Please help!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2009): why the hell would you want him? you are perfectly fine, he needs to get his stuff together.please move on and forget this loser - it's for your own good!
A
female
reader, Hermione  +, writes (14 February 2009):
He sounds like a terrible person and I can't believe that you'd even WANT to get back together with him. Block him on facebook and don't contact him again!
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2009): I you checking up on him makes you a psycho, then what exactly do him checking up on you to see if you are checking up on him make him? That would have been my first question anyway. He just wanted to see if he was still able to get away with cheating on you or if you have wised up to his game yet. Since you have obviously wised up, this is the only reason why he does not want you anymore. He wants somebody to be commited to him, but he is not ready to give the same in return. He has a lot of growing up to do. I know what it is like to be with this kind of man, it will drive you to do some crazy stuff. But you know that this is not you and you are not a psycho, you just need a real man in your life, start investing your time on finding that rather then trying to find where this loser is spending his time, there are good men out there and you will find one.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2009): I agree you are not a psycho, this guy is untrustworthy and you have been a doormat by never confronting him about his lying and sneaking around.
The sad thing is that you let him get to you and shake your self confidence. What that tells you is that you aren't feeling so good about yourself and you feel weak on the outside and that attracts jerk men to you like flys. Players can smell insecurity and they prey on girls who will put up with their bs.
Never give more to a guy than he is giving you. Remember, until marriage is on the table and he has proposed to you, to a guy you are simply dating him and he is not committed to you even if he calls you his girlfriend, it is really a bad deal for you. You need to remember this and date other men even if he doesn't like it. If he is the one you are sexually intimate with and the one you love the most then offer sexual fidelity, but don't stop keeping your dance card full with other men who like you....this motivates players to become what you need in order to keep you and or it weeds out the ones who don't really care that much....
If I had known this when I was younger, I would have saved myself a lot of heartache. This guy is simply not worth your time and he is a complete jerk, he is calling you psycho to assign blame to you for his being a jerk and he wants to look good to other women, that is what he really cares about, not you....and this is no reflection on you, it is a reflection on him.
But in the future never jump out there into is loss of direction and follow him and worry about what he is doing, focus on yourself and how happy you are and if he isn't giving you what you want then do something else. I kind of like to think of a cat. When a cat is looking for a lap to get someone to pet it, if one person doesn't make a lap for it, it doesn't get mad or follow, it goes to find another lap, it gets petted and it is satisfied if not happy.
Take care of you first.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2009): You're not really a psycho, he's given you plenty of reason to mistrust him but you should have left him ages ago, he sounds like a prick, okay it is a little weird to follow him and literally go to someones house to check up on them but screw it, love makes us do crazy things.
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