A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am with a man from a middle eastern country. I love him dearly but can feel claustrophobic because of his expectations from a woman, which are different from my own western ways. I became very frustrated recently and got very drunk waking up with another man. I have ended the relationship as I can't face him but am very unhappy without him. Where can I go from here?
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female
reader, europeanbeautey  +, writes (11 February 2007):
Hello... I was i a similar situation (in fact i was the one with "traditional background" and my bf somewhat, but not so much). We wanted same things in a long run but we wanted to go about them in very different ways... Some things he did and found ok to do i never thought were ok and we constantly kept arguing and fighting... at the end i realized that even though i loved him, it was better to let go because i can find someone out there who will go about things in a way more similar to mine. You and your boyfriend obviously were very different and even though differences should be appreciated and diversity is a beautiful thing, sometimes it can be too much. What i am saying here that if you guys couldnt compromise and were unhappy, in a long run- it is the best that ya'll split up now... Eventually you will find what your looking for, he will find what he is looking for and both of you should be happy for the experiende while it lasted.
A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (11 February 2007):
 You know you'll probably never get him to change his ways? You either agree with what he wants (and feel unhappy and trapped) or you break it off with him. I think you made the right choice and it will be hard at first for you to move on but in time you'll heal. Think about it logically... do you really think you had a future with this man knowing how different you both are? If you answer yes and you think you can BOTH compromise then by all means try and get back with him again but if you know deep down it wouldn't have worked long term then you did the right thing.
Getting drunk and jumping into bed with another man was a bit extreme though, don't you think? Be careful there or you'll end up with another kind of problem.
Eve
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A
female
reader, dragonette  +, writes (11 February 2007):
 When expectations clash in a relationship, there's always a conflict to be solved. Sometimes it's not so serious, like putting the toilet seat down, and sometimes it's a more serious issue like whether or not it's okay to drink and drive.
In your case it's a clash of gender role expectations. You want to be the western woman, and he had some more traditional expectations on you. I think you were right to leave your man if neither of you wanted to give up what you thought were right.
Now you need to get yourself together, and be with your friends who will support you. Try to go out and have fun, it won't be easy in the beginning. Take up a new hobby and try to see new sides of yourself.
Please take care and find happiness.
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