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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Hi there! I'm an 18 year old female who still doesn't really understand the art of female masturbation. For years since I was like 8 I've really enjoyed putting a pillow between my thighs and after a few mins I get a kinda high although I understand that now only to be a climax not a proper orgasm. After reading some problems on this site I tried fingering myself and imaging arousing situations (like I do with my pillow) in the bath, in my bedroom at night when everyone was asleep or out and even though I got wet I wasn't turned on no matter what way I tried (harder, faster, slower, different direction, using lube and not). So then I starting including my vibrator into the equation and although it give me tingling sensation as if I wanted to pee I still didn't get any sorta high until i flopped over on my tum and put a pillow between my thighs again. How long should I be taking to come? I just wanna know why I can't get an orgasm and if I can't even do it myself does that mean when i have sex (first time) with my bf in a couple of weeks he won't be able to pleasure me either?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2008): it sounds like you have had an orgasm before but maybe just not a screamer like most women during sex! usually a man is needed to have a really good orgasm
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the responses so far but I have to say that just cos I'm virgin doesn't mean I haven't done my research I'm very much aware of the vaginal and clitrol orgasm and of my g spot. found an extremely useful site called sofeminine.co.uk and it has been very helpful as well as several other sites recommended by past questions. As for visualising I meant I visualise having sex with men or in arousing situations not actually of masturbating. Sorry for the confusion.
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A
female
reader, intoodeep  +, writes (11 February 2007):
 When you masturbate, don't picture yourself actually masturbating, it's kind of a turn off! Think of it as meditation.. put yourself somewhere else. Don't remind yourself that you are in your bedroom. Hope this helps even a little.
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A
male
reader, Dr. John +, writes (11 February 2007):
 In many cases the problem with little or no orgasm is mostly a mental issue although there are cases where the problem is a physical issue although rare.
You may or may not have heard of the G-Spot! This is a spot in the anterior vaginal wall about 5 to 71/2 centimeters in. (2-3 inches)
It was discovered and researched by an OB/GYN in Germany, Dr. Ernst Grafenberg in 1944. I have heard this spot called the orgasm panic button.
The only bad thing is not all women can reach this spot themselves.
It may also be worth mentioning at this point that there are two types of orgasm, these being a clitoral orgasm and a vaginal orgasm.
I have added a couple of websites for you to check out. These should give you more answers and ideas than the scope of this site can possibly allow. They are:
http://www.jackinworld.com/
http://mama.indstate.edu/users/nizrael/grafenberg.html
Hope these help. Doc.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell from what I read on here I'm just experiencing a climax where I get a nice kind of high for a few seconds then it fades and don't think my vaginal muscles contract to be honest. Was this wrong and it is actually an orgasm? Even if I am getting an orgasm why can't I get one by touching myself or penetration?
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A
female
reader, dragonette  +, writes (11 February 2007):
 Maybe there's some kind of terminology that I don't get here, but what do you mean by proper orgasm? If you get all high and have a series of vaginal muscle contractions, you probably did orgasm.
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