A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I kissed my best friend's husband and I am feeling horrificOn Friday night, my best friend, her husband and me got very drunk. We ended up skinnny dipping and when she went inside the house, her husband and I kissed. The problem is that I remember the kiss but I don't remember the detail or any related conversations. The whole evening is very fuzzy. She doesn't suspect a thing but the problem is that I know. I am also concerned her husband will think that I am a bad friend to her. I know he would never tell her but that is not helping. While I find him attractive, it has always been a no-go, never ever issue for me. I would never do that to a friend but I am beside myself with guilt. I love my friend very much and her family is so good to me. Do I discuss it with her husband and explain that I was drunk and stupid, that it was the uncoolest thing I have ever done and that I am sorry it ever happened or do I leave it? Or am I obliged to tell her.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, cd206  +, writes (11 February 2007):
 If you're ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN that her husband won't tell her then I don't think you should either. All it would acheive is hurting her. However if you think there's a chance her husband would tell her it's better that it comes from you than from him. Don't beat yourself up for a mistake, just ensure it doesn't happen again.
CD
A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (11 February 2007):
 How do you think your best friend would handle it if you told her? YOU know there was nothing in it, YOU know nothing will come of it, YOU know you were drunk and YOU know it was a drunken silly mistake. It's done, over with, in the past!!
Telling your friend about this could open up a hornet's nest... and for what??? So you can get it off YOUR conscience and feel better?
Telling her will only bring it to the fore again, it might even imply (in her mind) you fancy him and want to win him over... you'll knock her for six! My advice to you is to leave it, forget about it and move on. If HE mentions it to you again say "did I? Hell I MUST have been drunk" and leave it at that! ;o)
Eve
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A
male
reader, Dr. John  +, writes (11 February 2007):
 I would not want to be in your shoes.
If nothing more than a kiss happened, in my opinion you need to examine your own self concience. This would be a terrible thing to lose a friend over, so you may need to examine all the angles.
What damage could ensue should you tell your friend?
How would you feel about dropping the matter altogether?
I am sure your friends husband knew you were drunk.
Do you plan on persuing it further with him?
These are some of the things you need to examine within yourself and answer the question on your own.
If it were me I would just drop the whole matter and try never to even think about it again.
That is just me and I think my concience under these circumstances could handle it.
But only you know you. Hope you can work it out. Doc.
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A
female
reader, Carina +, writes (11 February 2007):
 Personally I don't think she needs to know. It was obviously something that happened because of the drink and as long as there are NO feelings between you and her husband then it will just upset her and your very good friendship unnecessarily. If at all possible have a word with her husband when you can and laugh off the whole incident. Tell him you can't even really remember it because you were so drunk and that it meant absolutely nothing to you. Make sure he hasn't told her though. If he has then all you can do is explain the situation honestly to her and apologise, teling her it would never happen again. I hope the situation works out okay. Best of luck.
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