A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, just asking for your opinion. There is this 50's plus amazing guy at work. He is one of those rare types who attract young girls, more than guys their own age! At work, every and I mean literally every girl would do anything to go out with him(I have never seen a boy my age being so popular). Also has a great personalityI have been out at places he frequents and again, girls do everything to get his attention. Anyhow, yesterday he asked me out. He rarely goes out with anyone at work, but he would like to make an exception with me, after I showed him plenty of interest.He told me that young girls have told him they would like to become his permanent girlfriend. He says this is ridiculous at his age and he only wants a casual once off or at most a fwb "relationship".I am sure I would have a great time, but I am just worried to becoming emotionally attached and wanting more than he wants to give me. I do realise he is correct about a permanent relationship being unreasonable with such a great age gap. However, when we have a crush, these things are overlooked. I know that he wouldn't be too bothered if I told him "no" even at this stage, as he has plenty to choose from. But then I would feel that I missed out on this great opportunity. Just interested to hear what you would do. He is a bit of a player, but totally honest about it.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (25 November 2013):
 OP you talk of missed opportunities. What do you think would happen? Here’s what would happen, you are in lust and you would sleep with him and fall more in lust and limerence and he WOULD NOT CARE because he got to stick is dick in yet another WARM WET PLACE.
I’m sorry but I’m 53 and I’m pretty amazing for my age AND I prefer younger men so I get the whole mindset you think he has. I attract attention from men ages 25 or so all the way through DEAD… I’m at a great age. I’m outgoing, I’m attractive, I’m intelligent, I’m flirty. I have a younger man for a husband and yet if I was single I would NOT in any way shape or form want to have ANYTHING going on with a person YOUNGER than my children. It’s predatory in my opinion and it’s taking advantage on many levels.
The key is you ALREADY know if you have sex with this guy even one you will fall even deeper in lust/limerence with him. AND when he walks away and does not give you anything in return because he’s notched his belt, you will HURT.
HE sounds not like a player.. he sounds like an abusive old fart to me. He can easily take advantage of a girl with a crush. I almost want you to do it so this dirty old coot can fall off the pedestal you so gingerly have him placed upon.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (24 November 2013):
 Honey, my husband is 44 and a "chick magnet" too - always was, but he NEVER took advantage of all those YOUNG girls who fawned all over him.
That is what this dude is doing - HE IS USING young naive girls. He already said all he wants is a casual fuck-buddy (sure he put it less bluntly with the FWB) but regardless of expression THAT is what he wants.
YOU didn't miss out on anything. Let me tell you, not many 50+ guys can keep up with a 20+ woman Or a 20 something guy when it comes to sex.
I don't really know what it is you think you are missing out on. Having sex with a man old enough to be your dad?
Come on. He is not the great catch he was trying to make himself out to be.
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A
female
reader, Brokenv  +, writes (24 November 2013):
If you just want a sexual relationship with this "gentlemen" then I say go for it! But you are stating that you have feelings for him. You can't turn off feelings. I'm not going to get a long conversation about the do's and don't's of this, I'm simply going to state you are going to come out the loser in so many ways!
Stay away from this "gentlemen". He is going to break your heart.
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A
female
reader, shna  +, writes (24 November 2013):
 You missed out on a great opportunity? For what sex? To show all the other girls in the office you got to go out with them and they didn't?If you think there is any chance of developing feeling then don't get involved!!If you're able to come around to the idea that this is a one time deal (along with the fact that u will see girls flirting with him in work) then why not ?But I would advise not going for fwb !
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (24 November 2013):
The problem is, that you think you'll develop feelings for him. By saying that, you're admitting to already have thought about this, and effectively you're saying that you do already have feelings for him. And that will simply lead you to getting hurt.
I think that unless you're very, very sure that you won't develop feelings, you'll just end up hurt at some point.
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A
male
reader, devont +, writes (24 November 2013):
 I'm not entirely sure why you're contemplating this. You seem sensible enough to not have run into this and I don't think it is the best idea. I think you should steer clear. If you want something from the relationship that he can't (or rather won't) give, then now is the best time to realise that. Before it has started.I'm jealous of this guy, how has he got so many women after him that are prepared to see him casually? And he's honest about it too? Crazy.Best of luck to you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2013): OP here. An update on this. We are not working at the same place anymore, so unless we do get together, we probably won't be seeing each other again. So this may help me get over feelings of attachment. On the other hand I now know that if I miss my chance with him then there are no more opportunities.
I will miss him greatly anyway. Just having him around, all us girls couldn't wait to get to work! What a guy! Super handsome, personality, really nice etc.
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (24 November 2013):
 If you like this guy and would develop feelings of attachment, don't do it. You'll get hurt. If you can keep your feelings out of it and have a fwb/casual relationship, I don't see why not. Just don't go into it with the mentality you can change him and make him want to be with you. THAT'S where you'll go wrong.
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