A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My teacher is from america and is actually rather handsome. He's only 23 and im just nearly 16. At first we never talked but after a while we got used to each other and now talk an awful lot. He's even offered to let me use his house when i do a year out in america to study engineering. We did get rather close, joking with each other and i joked telling him he was the love of my life and didnt look or sound too happy when i mentioned i had a crush on another teacher.things carried on as usual. but then we broke up for the summer holidays and when i came back he was extremely different. he ignores me and looks at me and when i catch his eye he looks away. tell me whats happening! is he feeling the same way as i do? because i think i may have more than just a crush on him!
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female
reader, OhGetReal  +, writes (16 October 2010):
 He is showing his gross immaturity by crossing boundaries with you and getting too personal by offering his house to you while you studied abroad. He's either been warned or suddenly realized how he is coming off to you. He doesn't have a crush, he is inexperienced at teaching and he may have some psychological issues which he may realize he needs to work on. It is an abuse of power for a teacher to have a close personal relationship like that with a student, he knows it and now you should know it.
Keep your distance and keep it appropriate. He's in a position of authority over you. Act appropriately and you will get appropriate responses. Set your boundaries and anything that is uncomfortable to you, call him on it or report him to the principal's office.
A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (15 October 2010):
 I have to agree with Caring Guy on this one.
Teacher/Pupil relationships are 100% against the rules and illegal.
A teacher can be a best struck off, and at worst jailed, and put on the sex offenders register for it.
You had an inappropriate relationship with a teacher. He is doing his job, and backing off. He went too far, and now is doing the right thing by ignoring your advances, which is what he should have done in the first place.
He is young and foolish. He is not going to ruin his whole career for you. You are only 15, and once you get to uni you will meet many men who you will be attracted to. At the moment you see him as a mature "man" who has been giving you attention. You think its great because it makes you feel grown up. You are still a child, and no sane 23 year old would be interested in dating or having a relationship with you.
Teachers have a duty of care, and it is ILLEGAL to have a relationship with any student under the age of 18. Even if the pupil is over this age it is still frowned upon and disciplinary procedures are usually brought upon the teacher.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio1/advice/factfile_az/teacher_fancying_your_teacher
http://www.teachernet.gov.uk/wholeschool/familyandcommunity/childprotection/usefulinformation/abuseoftrust/
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (15 October 2010):
I know what's happened. He's got into trouble and been warned by someone further up the scale. This is now a huge warning to you too.
It is illegal for a teacher to have anything to do with a student in their care, or a student under the age of 18. He was getting too close to you, and I suspect that he has been warned off, as he can be fired/jailed/placed on the sex offender's register.
I would accept that he has made the decision to pull away from you, and do the same. This is a crush and nothing more. It will pass. You don't want to get him fired, and you don't want to get expelled. He is not feeling the same way. I think he was flirting, but I think it went too far and he knew it, and someone else knew it too. He's woken up thankfully.
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