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Is he abusing me?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 March 2012) 7 Answers - (Newest, 25 March 2012)
A female United States age 51-59, *allen12Angel writes:

My boyfriend of 2 years has been verbally and emotionally abusive. I have been devastated but he says it's not abuse. Again today he shut off the cable, the Internet and the phones. All meanwhile he is calling me a slut, dumb bitch, stupid and my 10 year old gets everything taken too. Is this abuse?

View related questions: emotionally abusive, the internet

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2012):

"Is he abusing me?"

Please God help an innocent ten-year-old girl and save her from a mother who is too clueless to realize she is continuing to endanger her daughter's emotional well-being if not physical health.

Absolutely no sympathy for any mother who allows an unrelated male to move in with her minor child(ren). Should absolutely never happen under any circumstances. Kid first, love life way way down the list, always without exception.

Care not one whit what happens to mother until kid is safely away from situation, and hopefully safely away from mother as well. Mom brought this upon herself, child didn't.

Neighbor, passing stranger, random police patrol, rescue dog, please God just deliver a beautiful little girl to a responsible party while she still has a chance to remain beautiful inside and out.

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A male reader, honestman Mexico +, writes (24 March 2012):

OMG

THAT IS 100% ABUSE

YOU GOT TO GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE.. NOW!!! [sorry for the caps, but I can't stress out how Important is what I'm saying]

He is trying to isolate you and control you by not allowing you to access internet, or using the telephone.

Please, if your abusive and controlling boyfriend allows you to, read this whole Wiki entry: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissism

Also read this one:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Borderline_personality_disorder

And this one:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antisocial_personality_disorder

If your BF meets any of these profiles, please, get out now!

Do it for your child and for you. You deserve something better. You don't need to take his crap. Get out ASAP! The longer you stay, the harder is to get out, and things will only get WORSE. Will you get out until he kills your child? Or will you wait until he kills you?

There are better man out there, you just need to keep looking and don't settle for any jerk like this!

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A male reader, oneguy United States +, writes (24 March 2012):

oneguy agony auntPlease call the cops. Reading what he's doing to you made me feel bad but him targeting your child is making me get angry. It's better to live and die alone than to live with an animal who treats like he is.

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A female reader, Anonymous 123 Italy +, writes (24 March 2012):

Anonymous 123 agony auntYes this is abuse and you need to get away from this ASAP. Not only is it wrong for you, its worse for your child, who is a witness to this at an impressionable age.

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A female reader, Blonde68 United Kingdom +, writes (24 March 2012):

Blonde68 agony aunt

What you’re describing is emotional abuse.

This verbal abuse and mental torture is classed as domestic violence and he shouldn’t be allowed to treat you this way.

You’re not a dumb bitch or stupid - This is a very common thing for an abusive person to say. He’s trying to undermine your self-esteem and make you feel that you’re reliant on him. Remember that you are not in any way responsible for what’s happening.

He is abusing you and you don’t have to put up with it - In England we have an Organisation called Womens Aid, and they offer help and support for what you are experiencing and ways of getting you out of it without fearing for your life should he become violent. I suggest you search on the internet (unless someone on here in the US can recommend one) for an organisation who can offer you the same type of support and advice.

Remove yourself asap, you owe it to your young child at least!

Good luck x

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (24 March 2012):

So_Very_Confused agony auntyes of course it's abuse.

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A female reader, Aunty BimBim Australia +, writes (24 March 2012):

Aunty BimBim agony auntYes it is abuse, also child abuse. You need to remove yourself and your child from that situation.

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