A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:About a month ago I found out that my ex got engaged. I was devastated, cry the whole night, and was depressed. I wanted to contacted him but I decided not to let my emotions drive me to insanity. He cheated on me so I broke up our engagement and an 11 years relationship. He tried to get back to me for a year but I couldn't forgive him. I never stopped loving him but I did not gave him a chance to repent his mistake. I don't know what to make of the whole engagement thing so soon with a girl who lives abroad. At the same time, his FB is private and I am not his friend but he posted two public messages. One was a quote "Perfect Marriage is two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other". The 2nd one was just recently: "London" as if he is going back to visit that girl.Why will he do that? just randomly post two public comments and I feel he is sending me a message. Does this mean that he stills care about me? Is he angry still? I am trying to read between the lines and if there is a little bit of a feelings perhaps I Should contact him? We haven't spoken in a year and a half.BTW: I closed my just closed my FB account so I don't look into him anymore.
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broke up, cheated on me, depressed, engaged, my ex Reply to this Question
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male
reader, lifesgreat  +, writes (18 December 2014):
why would he be angry .. he cheated on you and you ended the relationship he has no reason to be angry .
Also I do not feel he is sending you a message , you are not on his friends list and has not added you.
But also why would you want to get back with a cheater ?
he will more than likley do that to this new girl , just try to find somebody better :)
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (18 December 2014):
 He may not even realize that his setting is public.
YOU will always wonder if you gave him another chance if it would have worked. It's a moot point. You didn't give him a chance and that ship has sailed.
I think you are looking for something that's not there.
I doubt he's sending you a message at all. I doubt he's doing this to hurt you or get back at you.
would you even take him back now? why would you contact him?
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A
female
reader, MSA +, writes (18 December 2014):
 I have a friend who was in a similar situation as yours. She dated this man for a very long time, they talked about marriage many times, even went to see a counselor. The first time they made wedding plans, he backed out while taking wedding pictures. The second time, he cancelled the wedding 3 days prior to the actual wedding date. I forgot what happened the third time, but it was then that she decided to give up on the relationship. They broke up, but she still loved him. She kept hoping that he would realize how much he hurter her and come back. He never did. Within a year, he married another girl, another year later, they have a kid. My friend was devastated, she was with him for so many years.Sometimes that's how things work. It's unbelievable and so hard to accept. But you just have to stop thinking too much about it, stop waiting for him to come back and have a change of heart. He's gone. Accept it.You move on too and before you know it, Mr. Right will come along!Best of luck!
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (18 December 2014):
 You are thinking, if only you forgave him and let him repent, then he would have married you. No, no, no. He's been taking advantage of your feelings and if you take the bait and contact him he will further take advantage of that. You will become a mistress or an ex with benefits. He will be do to that girl what he used to do to you.
People who cheat when they are engaged do not know the meaning of marriage. Or they use marriage in order to get what they want. One, getting revenge, to make you angry for dumping him. Two, to show the world that he's not a commitment phobe and three, to make the girl trust him so much that she would have sex with him.
Imperfect means that you have weaknesses such as not being tidy, not outgoing, not being a good listener, taking each other for granted. These things can be looked over and people can compromise. However cheating is not something all people can forgive and forget. Especially when engaged, there is just no way to justify cheating. During an engagement people are busy planning. It's the sweetest moments in life. People would be talking about babies, naming them, maybe travelling too. To cheat during this crucial time means he's finding a way out. I do find it a deal breaker. You should look forward to the future and I hope you enjoy your christmas with family and friends.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2014): Its not an easy one to swallow but you have to cut this man out of your life because he will only ever cause you pain even if you did get back together. He has no reason to be angry with you. You have every right to be angry with him. Its sucks when people put vague stuff like that on facebook. Its just him being an attention seeker. Time will heal and you will find someone way cooler. Remember, when you give people/ex's attention, your giving them more power and if hes in another relationship now, he'll be loving the attention but giving you nothing in return.
Blank him and focus on making yourself strong again
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A
female
reader, misztoria +, writes (17 December 2014):
 I'm sorry to say this, because I hate hearing it, but I think you're reading way too much into things. If you haven't heard from him in that long I doubt he's subliminally sending you cryptic messages on his FB page when you're not even friends with him? Sometimes I post stuff that is public and don't even realize it. If I were you, I'd try to move on. It will sting for awhile. I didn't get over my ex fiance for 3 years, but I finally realized he's a jerk and didn't deserve me then or now. You stood your ground when he cheated which was very brave of you. You did the right thing! Don't regret anything!
Best of luck to you darling!
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