A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:Is this love or not,This man i'm seeing never has said he loves me,but do these actions say otherwise, he texts me every morning and nite calls me everyday some times more than once 7 day a week,tells me he misses me heaps,calls me sweet names,like beautiful,baby,gorgeous,lovely,tells me if he misses talking to me it upsets him,tells me he cares, and there's only one person he wants to look after and that is me,tells me he will never walk away from me.worries and cares if i'm sick,and heaps more things.only thing that is wrong is he is married we have been seeing each other for years both in our late 60's,i don't know what to think we get on so good together,and would be lost without each other. A'm i just being silly ,i'm not looking to marry again so that's not what i want.but i would like to be loved.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2012): "Does this married man love me?"Not enough to divorce the wife with whom he's presumably still living and sleeping."only thing that is wrong is he is married"It only takes one wrong to make it not right."i'm not looking to marry again"Good, because then there would be three things that are wrong: he'd be a bigamist, he'd be in jail, and you and his other wife would then have to share him with yet a third spouse, husband Bubba. "i would like to be loved."And he would like you to believe that he loves you so he can continue having you available on the side in the shadows while continuing to live and sleep with his lawfully wedded wife, and considering that buttering you up with fawning compliments, empty promises, and faux sympathy is all that he's needed to string you along for years, requiring neither physical exertion nor capital expense on his part, he would likely like you to continue believing that he loves you though your 70s, 80s and beyond.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2012): He doesn't have to love you. He knows if he feeds you sweet and pretty allbeit empty words that keep you ensared, he can continue to use you for his pleasure.The thing about people who use other people to distract them from their unhappiness of life, work, marriage- they will never end things with their partners.They don't have to as long as they have one woman giving them the love and excitement of new sex and stay with someone that is a comfort, friend, familiar. This way they never have to be truly responsible, accountable, and continue to feed off of getting their ego stroked, among other things.If this man wanted to end things with his wife, he would have done it already. He would have saved off dating or meeting anyone else until he separated and moved out of the marriage home.The man is Selfish and a Liar. No honest, decent man would do that to another he claims to love. He honours the woman he loves by giving her COMPLETE FIDELITY.I know this to be true as My Dad exampled to me what TRUE ENDURING LOVE is. I also know it to be true by the men I CHOOSE CAREFULLY to fall in love with, have the same standards and views on love, sex, and marriage as I do.You stay because you are fearful you will not find someone who will Love you so you settle for the mock or cheap imitation of love.You either realize you deserve more than or stick around and continue being used.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (20 July 2012):
 I don’t think it’s love. Just because someone talks the talk does not mean it’s love… ya gotta walk the walk too…
IF there was only one person he wanted to look after and it was you why is he taking care of his wife?
He worries and cares if you are sick.. but what actions does he do to take care of you when you are sick? Does he leave his wife to come care for you or are you on your own?
It’s been going on for years (and I get that my aunt had an affair with a married man for 25 years and he would never leave his wife.. when he died, she was as grief stricken as his wife but could not attend his funeral nor could she grieve in public for a man she loved as she was his dirty secret for TWENTY FIVE YEARS…. He provided NOTHING for her in his will either…)
My father at 79 has been with a woman now for nearly 17 years (they met 3 months after my mother died)… and while she is his one and only, she knows the ONLY reason she has this man is because his beloved wife died.
You my dear may be cared for, but to be honest if he truly LOVED you, he would have left his wife for you years ago.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (20 July 2012):
 His main action is this: he stays married. That pretty much tells you, at the end of the day, where his heart lies.
The rest is easy-peasy, little gestures that at the end of the day, mean nothing, because they don't change the main action.
You can decorate a shack and make it look pretty but if it is built on beach sand, the smallest wind will knock it down. Ignore the decorations and pay attention to the foundation. The foundation simply doesn't exist in this case, sorry.
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A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (20 July 2012):
 At the end of the day if he is still married but having an affair with you then he cannot truly love you. He obviously has strong feelings for you and enjoys being with you, but he goes home at night to another woman so he can never fully love you when he is comitted to another woman for life.
Any woman that participates in an affair and is happy to settle for a man who is a cheat and a liar is 'silly' in my opinion, you should be looking for a man who is a good companion, a loyal and trustworthy man who you can enjoy being with. Whereas you are never going to have that with this cheat - all he can offer you is empty promises and lies. If you value and resepct yourself then you would not settle for him, and you would know that you deserve better.
There will be plenty of single men out there who could love you and respect you in the way that you want, and who would be able to commit themselves to you. Instead you are just the woman on the side, allowing yourself to be part of an affair hurting an innocent woman behind her back.
Have a good think about this and whether you are going to settle for being 'the other woman', or if you think that you can do better and are not going to participate in this affair anymore. And one final thought - even if he did leave his wife for you, the relationship will have started as an affair which means chances are he will get bored of you soon enough and start an affair with another woman. Once a cheat, always a cheat.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (20 July 2012):
 You've been together for years even though he is married, so that should account for something. I am not sure we can come up with a definite answer to that question. He doesn't love you enough to leave his wife though because he has the best of both worlds. Hopefully he is not also cheating on you like he is on his wife.
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