A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have asked for advice before and you all thought I was watching too many pornos. I still have a lingering question, which you all have helped me with, but I have some more on that subject plus some others that have come up.First off, my wife and I on occasion have the "sex" talks, you know things we may want to try to spice things up, or things that are intriging but maybe will never try because they are "taboo".One of those things is anal sex. The wife says she doesn't want it and I COMPLETELY respect that, however, she LOVES having her anus stimulated, but that wasn't always the case. At first she was timid about me stimulating that area in anyway. But it has progressed from the occasional pinky, to a knuckle, to a thumb, to two fingers deep at times. She has had several earth shattering orgasms to these. She still remains firm on the no anal sex issue, which once again I am fine with. I am going with the flow and it doesn't really bother me either way, wheter I get it or not, but if she does want something I want to give it to her, know what I mean? Only if SHE wants it, I am here to satisfy her, as she satisfies me. Anyhow, my question is if she decides she wants it, will she just ask it? If she asks in the heat of the moment, should I do it, or should I say not this time, but maybe under the right environment? (I want the mood to be right, I want to make it possible for her to enjoy, making sure that we have lube on hand, etc. I don't want to be unprepared and have her not enjoy it, as then it would never happen again.)So that is part one, part two is we were talking about fantasies, some of which were taboo. She did mention that her deepest curiosities involve having a threesome, both MMF and FFM. And also, the MMF involving a black guy, as that would fill two curiosities at once; however, she is emphatic that she doesn't really want it to be reality, that it's not like a fantasy that she constantly thinks about, but just on occasion she is just curious about it. She isn't asking me to make it happen or anything like that, because she is completely satisfied with sex from me, if anything my sex is too much for her at times. I don't feel jealous or mad about, as I have to admit it is a fantasy/curiosity of mine as well. But with that being said, probably not one I'll seriously entertain as I am too fearful of the risks.But it made me curious if you combine the two issues we were having sex the other night and we were in a doggystle position and I put my thumb in her ass and started slowly penetrating her with my thumb, during sex. She got real turned on by this and started talking really dirty to me, which she usually doesn't do unless I probe her to do as such. I picked up the pace with my thumb and basically was fucking her anus with my thumb which was making her scream things like "oh my god, it feels like two dicks fucking me!" "Oh f__k me harder baby, f__k my ass baby!" "God I love me double f___ed!"Interesting afterwords she was surprised to find out that it was my thumb in her ass, she thought it was my pinky. I don't really know what my real question is here, but looking for input on how to interpret this, it really seems like her anus turns her into a wild person. How do I gage her seriousness when it comes to fantasies? Is it truly just a fantasy or is she playing coy? Does she want another man? Does she want more than just fingers in the ass? Do you see this evolving into anal sex? How to read her words/actions to make sure I am giving her what she is asking for.Any help is appreciated. Thanks!
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anal sex, jealous, orgasm, porn, threesome Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2010): It sounds as if her sexual needs are getting met. I suspect that should she want the play to extend to actual penile penetration (you ARE having anal sex BTW- no penis required, as lesbian couple can have anal sex only with their fingers!).It's possible that as the two of you continue to play that she will want to continue to increase the size, and as your thumb's already made the trip you MIGHT be on the way- or you MIGHT NOT.Just in case, be prepared with lube and a condom.As for the group sex fantasy. Keep this one as a fantasy unless you are 100%+ sure that you've both spent enough HOURS talking about it and reading and can handle the reality. It can be a lot of fun, or wreak a marriage. If you go there, communication is VITAL as is rule setting.I suspect that her fantasy's are all she needs and that you could elevate those with the purchase of a few toys... a black dildo might be first on the list! enjoy!
A
female
reader, curious26 +, writes (4 January 2010):
Just ask her. If she says no it means no.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (4 January 2010):
The best thing to do is ask her. That's the only way to find out.
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A
male
reader, Flyguymyeye +, writes (4 January 2010):
The only person who can answer your questions is your wife. Ask her.
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