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male
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*lexander wilde
writes:dear cupid as i am a male virgin does sex hurt for the first time. and what is like as i would like to know Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2010): I have taken acouple guys virginity's I never heard them complaining lol =P
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reader, alexander wilde +, writes (8 August 2010):
alexander wilde is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni know i will never experince sex because i am very shy and women dont like shy men. they dump them as quick as possible for something better that comes along.
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reader, londonmiss +, writes (6 August 2010):
 no it does not hurt a boy to lose his virginity.
it will only hurt if there is no lubrication
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reader, Danielepew  +, writes (6 August 2010):
 Daletom, I am under the impression that you can post here ANONYMOUSLY. And we're not the poster's peers, so I wonder how we can apply pressure.
You make good points about making the information available. I will make one good point: the aunts volunteer their time, and it should be used in real problems. If you spend ten hours patiently responding to a fake post, those are ten hours you wasted.
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reader, daletom  +, writes (6 August 2010):
"Danielepew" posted:
"I smell a fake post. 59 years old male asking this question?"
Yes, that sounds rather unusual. If it is truly accurate, the guy needs all the support we can give him because he has probably been damaged by cultural stereotypes and expectations.
If the poster is really, say, 19 (not 59) and too embarrassed to ask the question under his own identity, he may be in the process of being harmed by peer pressure and cultural stereotypes. He needs to be reinforced with factual information.
If the poster is actually, for example, a 11-year old girl playing around on mommy's 'pooter then she/he may quickly lose interest in an adult conversation because the Forum members aren't responding like juveniles. Or, he/she may be genuinely curious about the subject and deserves a respectful answer.
In any case, posting the information makes it available to anybody else who stumbles across the post via a search engine or other means. Some threads on here are still collecting comments YEARS after they were first posted. See, for example, "I'm bothered by the fact that my boyfriend's not a virgin..." at http://www.dearcupid.org/question/im-bothered-by-the-fact-that-my-boyfriends.html .
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reader, Danielepew +, writes (6 August 2010):
I smell a fake post. 59 years old male asking this question?
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reader, daletom +, writes (5 August 2010):
First time or not, it CAN hurt if you try to force an insertion at the wrong place, or the wrong angle. Let your partner help guide you into her. And, regardless of how embarrassing it is for you, make sure your partner knows it's your first time.
For the record, my wife and I were both 23 when we exchanged virginity (she took mine and I got hers in return) on our wedding night. The story, and how it felt to me, is in the thread "I'm a virgin and worried about my wedding night...", at [ http://www.dearcupid.org/question/im-a-virgin-and-worried-about-my-wedding.html ]. (Scroll down the thread to find my post.) Even though it was lousy sex, it was still very significant and meaningful to us! And despite that lousy first-time, we're still married - to each other - over 35 years later.
Other threads I contributed to include "How can I make my first time having sex enjoyable?" at [ http://www.dearcupid.org/question/how-can-i-make-my-first-time-having.html ] and, "I want to start having sex with him . . ." at [ http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-want-to-start-having-sex-with-him.html ] (scroll down to find my response), and "He's a virgin, I'm not. How can I make it meaningful for him?" at [ http://www.dearcupid.org/question/hes-a-virgin-im-not--how-can.html ] and "Any stories about losing your virginity??" at [ http://www.dearcupid.org/question/any-stories-about-losing-your-virginity.html ].
Something we weren't prepared for was our emotional state immediately afterwards. I've read about this and talked to others, and the details vary WIDELY among people. (My wife & I were both sobbing, and pain wasn't the major cause.) The best I can say is that you need to be sensitive to each other, as well as yourselves, because you can do some emotional damage without even realizing it.
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reader, escribanus  +, writes (5 August 2010):
 No, it is great for us. forget about the porn you have seen trought your life, just trust your instinct and make sure the woman you are making love to, really loves you and guides you trought that special moment.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2010): In your 50's and about to have sex for the first time? Well congratulations! No, it really doesn't hurt except if it has a hard time going in. The penis can "fold" or bend sharply in the middle when it's entering a very tight orifice or goes in at a wierd angle. That can hurt a bit, but generally, its not a problem.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2010): It can be if you have a foreskin and she's not properly lubricated or is too tight. Pulling back the foreskin sharply can be painful as you know. So she has to be well lubed and the motion has to be slow and easy.
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reader, FluffyPie +, writes (5 August 2010):
 Fortunately for guys, no.
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reader, Over..worried.  +, writes (5 August 2010):
 Um no it doesn't, but it can I am told if she is not wet it is uncomfortable.
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