A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So this question is about my ex. We dated about 2 years ago for a very short period of time. We went to the same school for 4 years and remained friends after dating. He didn't seem that into me and we were both young. We would still text and flirt and he kissed me a few times after we broke up. Anyway, for a while he has been messing with my head and I can't tell if he has feelings for me.He admitted that he regretted dumping me in front of our friends but then he ignored me after that.He would text me every week but this sometimes stops.He asks me to hang out and if I'm busy, what I'm up to tonight? Etc.We went on a school trip and he spent the whole time touching me up and stuff but he hardly said a word to me. We were in a bed together and I fell asleep and when I woke up his arm was around me. He kept putting his hand on my butt and we were sitting in a circle with duvets on and he put his hand on my thigh and moved it up. After the trip he text me with a winky face but never mentioned it. He came to a party at mine and kept feeling me up until this other girl came. I was fairly drunk and got over emotional about him messing with my head. He just said sorry its just because you're a girl and I'm a boy. He promised he would stop messing me around. Later on he pecked me on the lips and said it was just a friend kiss and then when we went to check on my mate who had been sick, he lay on top of me and kissed me again. It wasn't a proper kiss just a peck but I don't understand why he did that. After that we were laying on top of my bed and he had his arm around me and he says 'we better go before we end up doing something'. This was after he said he would stop messing me around! We went for a walk and he held my hand and said that we were best friends and stuff. He said stuff about this girl and a boy who liked me. He then said 'I wish we got to do more stuff' referring to when we used to date. I asked him if he would go out with me if we were both single and stuff (I had been seeing someone) and he said maybe. I was drunk and probably flirting with him more than I would and he hugs me and says don't do this now. I text him after the party saying sorry and he said its fine haha me to. He hates any guy who I'm seeing. I'm not sure if this is a coincidence or if it annoys him.He always takes my phone and I usually end up kind of cuddled into him trying to get it back.Me and a friend went to his house two days ago and we tried to get some more people over and one of my friends text back a really horrible message to he took my phone and text him asking what his problem was. We started drinking and talking. He put his arm around me on the bench. I hadn't had anything to eat that day and he offered to make me something to eat. I didn't know where the toilet was so be took me upstairs and he felt me up as I was going upstairs. He was sitting outside when I came out and he pulled me onto his lap. I was kind of laying on top of him on the floor. My friend goes on the computer and I go into his room and get into his bed under the covers, he comes back and spoons me from behind. I turn around so we're facing each other and he tries to feel me up again. He whispered 'I don't think it matters any more, does it?' Later on he holds my hand under the covers really tightly for about 15 minutes. At some point he kissed me on the forehead in a really affectionate way which isn't like him. It seemed like he was going to kiss me a few times but I always moved away because I don't understand what's going on and I don't want to be messed around or ruin our friendship. He said I wore too much makeup which I got quite upset about as I have heard that people always used to be mean about how I looked and he looks at me and says what? The only thing I ever heard people say were good things and he hugged me. So this kind of stuff makes me think he either likes me or wants in my pants (he does get like that when he's been drinking but a couple of the occasions haven't been when drinks involved).But then there's the things that make me think he doesn't like me and he just likes messing with my head.He liked this other girl for years and it never worked out. I just felt like his 2nd choice. He would still flirt but not really when she was there. He ignored me for periods of time.He texts me but doesn't keep a conversation going so it makes me feel he doesn't want to talk. However sometimes he will keep it going for as long as he can :/He seems to just forget about the stuff that happens as he never mentions it. So maybe it doesn't mean much to him? For the 4 and a bit years I've known him, he's never been one for feelings or affection as such. I am really confused. I can't tell if he has any feelings for me. Please help, does my ex have feelings for me?*sorry it's so long 3
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (31 July 2013):
 He is messing with your head... actually he is nostly messing with your butt, since it's the part he is always reaching for.
What a smug, self serving wanker. I don't know how you have the patience to put up with this. He knows that you have a soft spot for him, and he takes advantage of that when he's in the mood to cop a feel, or at best to kill some time. That's when he randomly may decide to give you some attention- and for the rest of the time he shows he does not care.
I am not even sure he really wants to get in your pants- unless you 'd really serve your pants on a silver platter. He's too lazy.Too much effort. Too many complications. I'd bet he's perfectly happy with how things are now. A little kiss here, a little pawing there.
Slightly creepy too, if you ask me. And a total waste of your time. Cut him loose, avoid him, and move forward. You can do SOOOOO much better than this .
A
male
reader, adaminio +, writes (30 July 2013):
Sorry to be blunt.. I read the first few paragraphs and thought what an absolute Dick!! He is talking, feeling you up, kissing you when ever he wants.. hun if you want someone you go for them when ever you can. Also your not with him and his grabbing your bum, feeling you up. Wtf hes a dirt bag..
You should say get lost you creep I've got a man.. and his is naturally going to dislike your boyfriend as it is a natural male feeling.. not over you but because its a macho thing..
But just focus on your life .. you deserve someone nice ok..
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