A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am an Arab man (but also a Christian). The rules and traditions in my country told men to treat women except their wives as sisters (with no sexual feelings) and told women not to wear sexy clothes. Of course man and woman can do whatever they want but when they have sexual relationship without getting married or when woman wear too sexy clothes people start to think about her (or maybe treat her) as a slut.So to be a respectable woman you shouldn't wear sexy clothes and protect you virginity until you get married and to be respectable man you should treat women like your sisters and when you fell in love with girl you should marry her to have a sexual relationship with herIn these conditions I grow up. But of course in modern life things is changed somehow, so a lot of women wear sexy clothes in streets, work, college, and also there is the internet where you can see whatever you want, so it isn't a big deal for me to see womens bodies. Actually it became a normal thing to guy like me who is 25 yeas old. When I went to a college five years ago I met a girl and I liked her but our program or classes wasn't the same, so we could only meet at the end of the day, so we start talking and laughing and having fun…..In the second year I told her that I love her then she told me that she love me too but she can't marry me because of some reasons (one of them was because she belong to a rich family and her parent will not accept our marriage) and for other reasons Although she and I felt so sad but we continued to treat each other as lovers so I was the only close friend of her and she still the only close friend of mine. We had just a romantic relationship for three years. But during all that three years I wasn't thinking about her body and when she wore some sexy clothes I always tried to ignore that and focus on her face (I'm not saying that I'm an angel… because with other girls I was looking at their bodies and sometimes lustfully… ) But at the fourth year of college we must choose a department (or section) in college to continue studying at it so we choose the same one and here started my problem.We started to study together and do our project together and I started to notice her body more and more, she is little fat but she has big boobs(too big) and great cleavage.I started to look at her body in a different way and here's some examples One day I was studying at the library then she came in and bent over in front of my table to talk with me and showed her sexy cleavage… (if she was another girl I would simply stare at her cleavage just for a moment and then look at her face and continue normally) but when she showed her cleavage I felt horny and I looked at her boobs for long time, but from time to another I look at her face to show that is normal … that's lasted for ten minutes One day we were at the lab and there was a machine we have to work on and it has a display monitor laying on the floor .. she wanted to read its readings and told me to write what she reads, so she crouched in front of the monitor and I sat behind of her the something bushed me to go and stand beside her. she was wearing a little low-cut t-shirt but I knew that her big boobs will make great cleavage when she bending or leaning so I started to stare at her boobs and I feel a strange feeling. Suddenly she looked at me smiled then continued working (I don't know why) and I continued looking at her cleavage (sometimes I was pretending that i was writing some notes on my notebook to don’t let her notice that i was looking at her boobs)… In the evening that day we talked on phone and it was really romantic call so I felt so sorry about what I have done because first it was wrong to look at girls body (as I grew up) and second because it was the girl who I love and she was very kind of me. That feeling lasts for some days that I could ignoring my sexual feeling about her but later the problem continued I would like to say that most of my examples is about her boobs because she didn't wear skirts in the college and the most part I like in woman body is her boobs and my friend has very sexy and big boobs.One day she came to college wearing very low-cut t-shirt… I was shocked because she didn't used to wear this kind of clothes but there something inside myself told me that it was my chance to see greater parts of her boobs. I try to resist that feeling all the day . Of course it's hard to ignore woman with lowcut shirt but I try every time I see her cleavage to look directly at her face …. then when we was at the lab she spilt some liquids on the floor so the professor told her to stay after the class and clean it After the class she asked me to stay with her and I accepted that and told her that i can help her with cleaning but she refused that and told me just to stay with her so i stayed and just watched her cleaning When she started to clean she bend over all the time and her boobs has completely shown because she wasn't wearing a bra It was my first time to see her nipples and they was so beautiful and her boobs was moving up and down in very sexy way… it was also my first time that i wanted to touch her boobs and lick her nipples.. in other words I wanted to have a sex with her.After that day my feeling started to change so start to focus more and more on her body but that is confusing me. I love her but I also want to see her body …. her face is so angelic and her boobs are irresistibleNow even I see a naked woman it will not be a matter comparing with it when I see her boobsI think that other girls now mean nothing to me and these kind of situations that I explained repeated and repeats times and times So what should I do? Of course I can't ask her to have a sex or even to see her boobs because that is forbidden in our traditions and rules And I didn't know if she knows about my feelingsMaybe she don't know that I see her boobs when she bends over (sometimes i think that she do it intentionally because this situation is repeated so many times) She is still so kind of me and we still talk and live as a lover as it was former but my feeling about her body has changed in a way I can't resist itShould I look at her body when she bend over to show me her boobs on purpose? What should I do for me and for her? I really love her and i really want her bodyCan you explain her behaviors? Can you told me your opinion about those examples I have just explained and please give me some advices to how act in these situations?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, sealover +, writes (10 August 2013):
Alsalam o alaikom!
So, there it goes. I am a girl from your culture and I can un-code her behavior for you. She likes you and wants you. she was tired of you acting like a brother to her. she wants you to propose to her again. Go ahead and talk about if she thinks there would be any chance for you to approach her family through your mother for marriage. Ask her if she can support you in her family. It might be that she feels some sort of pressure from her family that she should get married by the end of 4th year of school and they reduced their expectations as how rich the groom's family should be. I see a great chance for you. Please keep us updated! Good luck...
A
female
reader, Just.opinions  +, writes (6 August 2013):
It sounds to me like she is dropping some huge hints for you. She likes you, and it sounds like your culture is quite patriarchal- males are in charge. She switched clothes and gave you the oppurtunity to look at her because she sees you like looking. I am from a different culture entirely (american) but i am pretty sure she is wanting for you to make a move. At this point, she probably wishes there were a way to defy culture and be with you.
Another thing to note is that women like this attention. Some complain about men staring at them all the time, but this is just to keep from seeming slutty. We love being chased and i know i love teasing my man a little bit. It is very nice to see him wanting me, and makes it really fun when he finally gets it- like releasing a pent up beast.
Dont get confused- she will probably not appreciate being openly oggled, but i bet my bottom dollar she loves seeing you want her. Possibly, she wishes you would make a drastic move to be with her. Not just sexually, but as a couple.
In the end- it is your choice how to respond to her. You know your own cultral and personal limits... but this is just a womans interpretation of another womans behavior.
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A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy  +, writes (30 July 2013):
 Do you love her or just lust after her? Do you love her seriously enough to want to marry her, or are you just in serious lust with her boobs?
If you love her, broach the issue of marriage again.
Her behaviour seems to be that she's trying to seduce you, get you to make a move. Whether this is to have sex or to prompt you to commit to a relationship (in your culture I am guessing this means marriage) is impossible for anyone else to say.
I think you should tell her that your feelings have gone past the "sisterly" phase and take the discussion from there.
I hope you haven't lost respect for her because she's wearing more revealing clothes, though. I get the feeling you have.
Talk to her!
All the best.
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A
female
reader, xedep +, writes (30 July 2013):
 Oh wow. Ok first of all, you cant deny that you want sex with her but I dont suppose you are that in love with her, all the time you were talking you didnt really mention her personality you didnt say anything great about her that you love so much or her soul just her face and tits. If you want to have sex with somebody have sex with them, all men go through this, they all want what they cant get and the more they cant get it the more they focus in on it. The girl is flirting with you, I mean all women are concious of their chest and her going gradually from skimpier top to skimpier top says something to me, so either you tell her you want to fuck her and see what she says or you just leave this poor girl alone. Women should be able to wear whatever they like without guys looking down their shirts or up their skirts. Hope this helps
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2013): I don't think you love her... not once did you mention something you loved about her other than her body, and even when it came to that you describe her so objectively...as if she's not really human, but just a sorta-fat yet sexual object that happens to have big boobs.seriously? You say you're from Syria... isn't there a HUGE war going on in Syria, people are dying right and left, can't you find something more serious to worry about. If you wanna get laid, have sex, she's inviting you!...if you want to get married, leave her alone, she already told you that it won't happen.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2013): Good lord! I'm not sure if you have the hots for this lady, or you are just teasing yourslf, its very long winded?Maybe she is flirting with you, but I dont think you are ready for a relationship with a woman, because they dont like to be thought of in that way. Women are entitled to wear what they want, without a man thinking they are a slut. Although I admit some go to far. If I were you, I would be honest with your friend, and tell her how you feel....or just shag her and get it over with!
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