A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi all,To the men out there, this is one I hope you can help with, although I'd of course like the ladies' opinions too. I have been dating a man for over a year now and have always known that he was sexually much more experienced than I am. He is older than me and it was always a choice I had made to not be overly explorative in that sense. However, I did not realise just how many people he is likely to have slept with, until months into our relationship, when it became clear (directly and from other people's indirect comments) that the number was large. He never flaunts it though, but the more I fell for him the more it bothered me that I was starting to be another number on a list of woman he had bedded. The difference is though - he says that I am the only woman he has ever loved, and for many reasons, I know this to be true. So, my question is..... does it feel different, at an emotional level (maybe even at a physical level), to make love to a woman you love, versus a woman you don't care as deeply about. He says that I am the only woman he has ever felt love for or felt so strongly for and I am interested to know if this changes the way sex is viewed in a man's eyes i.e. when they are with someone they care deeply about, even if she isn't that experienced (technique wise)? That last bit is important, because I know (at least from my own insecurities) that he is likely to have been with women way more experienced and clued up than I am. Your honest and genuine opinions would be a great help right about now! Thanks in advance! Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi all,
Thank you very much for your responses. I agree with all you've said and though I knew/know it all at a logical level, it's hard to feel it sometimes. But, knowing you all echo my beliefs that sex with someone you love does feel different... beautiful.... special, confirms things for me. I'm not saying it's now going to be easy to 'let go', but it'll be easier :-)
Thanks again for your time.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2009): I was in the same situation as you and my boyfriend told me the same thing He was my first we have a great sex life and have been together for 6 years So by experience I can tell you that YES sex feels different to them when they are in love you can feel it is not just sex is so much more when you have reached a guy in a deeper emotional level It gives sex a whole different meaning!!
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (12 October 2009):
It sounds more like you're worried that you won't be able to match up to his previous encounters. The answer to your question is yes, it's completely different when a man loves a woman. He LOVES you, and that's it. Stop worrying about all those other women. You are the the one he wants.
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A
female
reader, Sammycake +, writes (12 October 2009):
 There's an obvious difference between making love and just 'screwing' (pardon the bluntness).
Having sex with someone you don't have deep feelings for is all about the genitals - it's heated, hormone ridden and far more fast-paced. There's no emotional connection, no fleeting eye contact that drives you wild; it's a quick 1,2 and you're done.
Having sex with someone you love and care for means that you can still look this person straight in the eyes in the heat of the moment and cherish them for who they are, wobbly bits and all. :)
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A
male
reader, doom  +, writes (12 October 2009):
 Hi, well i think you 're to focused on thye idea that: "he has slept with thousends of women" , so what?! maybe that was the past..and he dumbed them because it wasn't interessting for him.And now as he found the right women at his age (he is over 30, don't forget) he started to think more with his brain not with his other part of the mans body.But be carreful, beautifull words: "i love you, you're the best etc" you should be carefull, it's 21 century, man can say anything to get into womens pants.So jsut be yourself, don't let him take over you and forget about the sex complex.Try to find if he is with you in a long relationship or it's just a flirt.good luck
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