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*o_Very_Confused
writes:Just a philosophical question for folks...Can you MAKE someone love you by loving them first???Cliff Notes version of the background story: I am/was married. (we have separated) I met a man and started a relationship with him in January. (it was not an affair as my husband was aware of the relationship and in the beginning condoned it)I never meant to fall in love with him but I did. I did not want to keep things from him so I told him how I felt knowing he did not feel that way about me. It was never supposed to be a love affair. I never thought he could or would love me.Now we find ourselves madly in love with each other.I wonder if he would have loved me had I not loved him and told him of this first.What say you aunties??? Can you loving someone make them fall in love with you right back?
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reader, dreamingbella  +, writes (8 April 2011):
 Anything's possible i would say. Me own story, yes it can. I didn't love me fiance at first but i didn't leave him even though knowing that i didn't feel love. I wanted to give it a try. After so many things he's done for me. After 8 months i fell in love. I believe life's amazing, the world's amazing. We never know what could happen and what could not. But yes anything's possible. Not a high percentage to everyone but still 0.1% which happens to a very few.
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reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (17 March 2011):
So_Very_Confused is verified as being by the original poster of the question I think I agree that if you feed something that's already there like an ember that gets blown on it can flare and burn brighter and harder... and as long as you feed it it will burn hot...
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reader, natasia  +, writes (16 March 2011):
 No, you can't. Eg, if you love someone and they don't love you, no matter how much you love them, you can't make them love you. Maybe, they come to love you - but they would have to be open to the prospect in the first place.
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reader, Denise32 +, writes (16 March 2011):
 In my experience, my friend in England is someone I met who is a member of the same church I attend when there. So we had that in common right away, when we had a couple of very enjoyable and interesting conversations on first meeting in Nov. 2009. After that, we talked a lot more during my visit last March, and after that, regularly via Skype. We started going out together in September when I was there. Still as friends who find one another attractive, and have a lot in common, mind, but then, we both like to take it slow, and I do think having a friend you find interesting and likeable is a good basis for something more to develop....I shall be going again next month and he told me he's looking forward to seeing me.
Being mutually supportive, maybe a few different ways of looking at things, yet generally very enjoyable and pleasant, (plus no pressure, ever) whether via computer or in person, in my opinion, can't be beat!
So yes, liking someone and them liking you, can lead to more......for me, its still too soon to talk of love, and that's just fine.....
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reader, The Realist  +, writes (16 March 2011):
 Yes, they can. The feelings may not be created out of nothing but his initial liking of you was surely strengthened by him knowing that you like him. The same goes for the amount of time you spend together, the more that you do the more you will like each other.
If the person had no feelings for you then I doubt that you could get them to love you because the attempts will most likely drive them away.
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reader, SweetSmoochy +, writes (16 March 2011):
 In my opinion/experience, if someone likes another person, the flattery makes that person fond of the liker. I don't think it can build love though unless there's somehting else. Flattery wears off.
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