A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I found out my boyfriend had someone else a couple of years ago.this woman has phoned me a few times claiming to be his wife but what she says doesn't add up.he admits to having had a relationship with her but denies they are married.when I first met him,he said he was married to someone else but only to get his stay in the country, and that he didn't really know the woman and hadn't had any contact with her for years.he still claims his actual wife is this random woman and not the one he's been cheating on me with. I really don't know what to believe now- he keeps claiming to have finished with this woman but then I find out she's still with him,she uses his last name (I resorted to checking her out on the electoral roll lol) but there is no record of them ever having got married (I checked the births deaths and marriages too lol) but there's no record of him ever having married someone else either...they also don't live together (obviously) and I found an old bank card of her's in his drawer once and it had his last name on it but it said miss,not mrs- the whole story she told me doesn't add up either, I know for a fact some of it is definitely lies.does it sound like they're really married or not? If not I will give him a chance until I find out who is his favourite but if he's married to her then that kind of speaks for itself... Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Sweet Dreamer xxx +, writes (7 February 2019):
 It sounds like she took his last name, but did not marry him. Try to catch her out next time and ask for their marriage certificate. This would be able to tell you if there are any truth to her words. But why is she messaging you still? Is there still something going on between them and she wants to get rid of you? Or is she just jealous and trying to break you guys up?
I don't agree to letting others win when it comes to your own happiness, however do you really want to share your life with someone with this amount of baggage/ drama? It clearly is having an affect on you and you need to deal with this head on, either by agreeing to meet up with both parties present to get down to the bottom of it or by asking for evidence of marriage.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2019): This is what I gather from all this. He wasn't married to the woman you're getting calls from, she was just one of the two women he used; and probably still goes back to when he needs money. The guy is a con-artist, and those women are victims of his scams. He got credit cards and possibly put them all in debt. He married someone just to stay in the country?
So as long as he isn't married, nothing else matters.
Seriously, girlfriend?!!
I'm astonished. You know all this, and still want that piece of dirt. I guess once he's ruined your credit and stolen money out of your bank account; you can become a card-carrying member of the "Played Women's Club."
Drama? That's an understatement. You're up to your knees in doody. He's a greasy slimy sputum-sucking scumbag!
Get outta there!!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2019): Well yes it's drama but I already love him and have been with him for years. I really don't care if he paid someone to marry him, if I was fleeing a bad situation in this country and had the chance to do the same I would. I just want to know if this woman is wifey and everything he's told me is a lie or if she's just some would be ex trying to hang on to him or whatever.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (5 February 2019):
 Sorry, but I have to ask, are you serious?
If he is in a relationship with this woman, he is not free. Whether he is technically married or not is IMMATERIAL. I would suggest the mystery woman he CLAIMS he married is a convenient invention to stop anyone (like YOU) expecting him to marry THEM.
Why are you getting involved in his complicated life? And do you really have nothing better to do with your time than check through electoral rolls and marriage certificates? Is this what you think you are worth?
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A
female
reader, mystiquek  +, writes (5 February 2019):
 WAAAAAY too much drama. Why would you hang around to see who his favorite is? He's a liar, a cheat and God knows what else. Cut him loose before he takes your money. No one is worth this mess.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (5 February 2019):
 Really? You think this guy is the best person you can find?
Someone who is cheating the system to stay in the country, still married and has cheated on you?
Get a grip.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (5 February 2019):
 I agree, to much drama and reasons for distrust.
Why waste time on this crap? Even if they aren't married she is OBVIOUSLY still part of his life somehow and could even get your name and number?
He also committed fraud to stay in the UK, how would you EVER know for sure that he isn't USING you for the same kind of purpose or another scheme?
Cut him loose.
Find a man with less drama, baggage and whom you share more in common with.
Who cares who his "favorite" it?!
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (5 February 2019):
 This sounds like a whole lot of uneccessary drama. I wonder why you dont find yourself a normal man who doesnt have this much drama and shady business surrounding him? Or do you enjoy the drama and other women calling you, maybe he's cheating, he definitely is married to someone else only to stay in the country etc etc etc.
It gave me a head ache just reading about it. Why not choose an easy life for one self, instead of choosing to be with someone who brings this much mess with him? Plenty of guys out there without the added drama....
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