A
male
age
41-50,
*onkey76
writes:I met my girlfriend in England 6 months ago and we both love each other very much! She lives in Turkey and returned 1 month ago trying to get visa to return and study. Whilst she was in England she quit smoking, she said that it was all because of me ,it made me feel fantastic and she even told her family and they liked that i cared for her health and helped her. She made a promise to me before she left that she wouldn't start again but last night i asked and she said she has had! I was angry because she promised me(i didn't ask for promise!)I think she is loyal and honest all the time but because she has broken her word I am beginning to question other promises she has made to me for when we are apart, I love her so much! Should I have been angry? I know she told me the truth and I thanked her for this! Is she letting me know she don't care about me by starting again? I am confused?! Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Jamer70 +, writes (1 September 2007):
 Smoking is just a plain addiction that some people can give up of a little while but later start again as it takes over. Quiting can sometimes be a gesture but if they start again dont take it personal as its a very bad addiction and takes over peoples thoughts as they asways want more.
All you do is help her quit if she wants to
A
male
reader, Monkey76 +, writes (1 September 2007):
Monkey76 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your replies! Generally you feel that it is not that instumental for our relationship! You lot have helped me make a balanced decision about situation! Thanx! I still love her so much and feel a little petty! But trust is so important to me!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2007): Yeah yeah yeah. Its an addication so apparently that makes it okay to break a promise. If I say something wrong is an addication problem will that mean its okay?
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A
female
reader, pink_fairy22 +, writes (1 September 2007):
 Hi, like the others have said smoking is an addiction and its only something you can stop if you really want to. You cant really stop for someone else. I don't smoke personally but a lot of my friends do they other tell themselves their going to stop but then 2 days later they can't handle it. Its kind of hard to understand when you dont smoke yourself. People smoke for all kinds of reasons if their stressed, worried or sometimes for the wrong reasons (to fit in with their friends). So no i wouldnt be angry as im sure she didnt mean to make you feel this way :)
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (1 September 2007):
 Hi
Im with Duce on this one.
Shes addicted to it. Plenty of people give up with good intentions, but its flippin hard to stick with it!
Dont worry. Dont nag her to stop again now either. Giving up addictions is something a person can only do when THEY want to.
All the best.
C xxxx
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A
male
reader, honeyross +, writes (1 September 2007):
 Ex-smokers still have very strong cravings and sometimes it's very easy to slip back into smoking when you're stressed, worried, or are simply around friends who smoke. Nicotine is one of the most physically addictive drugs.I wouldn't see this as a broken promise. Her honesty is something you should be happy about. Many people would have lied and pretended they hadn't done it. Perhaps you just have the natural feelings of fear for the relationship because your partner is away. I wouldn't read too much into this issue. You could let her know you're a bit disappointed and will support her when she tries to quit again.
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A
male
reader, duce00  +, writes (1 September 2007):
 Hi Monkey76,
Smoking is an addiction not a personal gesture to somebody. I have smoked on and off, mostly during stressful times. Its probably her only coping mechanism. She will probably quit when she is back with you. Theres some things you should take personally in a relationship, but I dont think this one of them.
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