A
male
age
41-50,
*oiney
writes:I have been with my partner for 8 years and I have always assumed we both enjoyed sex, but I have recently found a very large dildo and 2 large vibrators which she has obviously been using, to be straight about it I feel she does not enjoy sex with me and prefers the toys and is looking to meet, or is having seeing another man?
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dildo, sex toy, vibrator Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, nothing.lasts.and.nothing's.lost +, writes (19 May 2010):
 It's sort similar for a woman to ask if her man still loves her if he jerks off to porn, everyone of course has different opinions about this kind of thing. I wouldn't say your partner's looking to meet a new man just because she owns a large dildo, it's a simple device to get her off when you're not there to do it. Just like men 'have' to look at unrealistic fantasy women in porn to maturbate, a woman may have to use an unrealisticly sized sex toy to masturbate...
A
female
reader, vicky83 +, writes (14 March 2010):
 Just beacause she has toys does not mean she is not happy with you, I think you should mention you would like to buy one, maybe then she will be more open, We have toys of all sizes and have found they are fun and add someting extra and can spice things up.
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A
male
reader, pyan  +, writes (7 February 2010):
hi
no it dose not mean that they are toys maybe you should ask about them you may find it fun using them with her. my wife as 3 and i remember the first one i bought her was too big. let us know how you go
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A
female
reader, Mee!3  +, writes (7 February 2010):
 No dont think like that, i have 4 vibrators and i love sex a lot they're just a quick way to get off
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A
male
reader, Beingblack +, writes (7 February 2010):
 Do you masturbate? Of course you do.
Does that mean that you are not happy having sex with your girlfriend, that you prefer to masturbate, and are looking to meet another woman? Of course not.
Women have just as much right to masturbate as men do. If you find the idea of a sex toy threatening, the issues are with you, not her.
The size of the toy is almost irrelevant, what it does and how she uses it is vital. Ask to watch her. Not only is it hugely erotic, but might be educational.
If you're going to be upset because she has orgasms without you touching her, or being there, then you will be upset with around 95 per cent of the female population.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (7 February 2010):
No, nothing like that. She's just after some fun for when you're not there. Vibrators can give quicker orgasms than sex can and such. I don't think it's anything to worry about. Maybe ask her about it if you're worried, and ask what you can do to make sex better for her,
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A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (7 February 2010):
 I'm married with three kids and love my hubby to bits and I have a vibrator. Sometimes I use it by myself and sometimes when we have sex together. Trust me sex toys are simply an enhancement to us girls they do not replace good old fashioned sex ever.
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