A
female
age
30-35,
*as1992
writes:*OP's own title*So, I've been dating my best friend since the end of December. He's a very private person and doesn't like to talk about his feelings, even to those he's close to, except when he's tired. When he's exhausted, he has a tendency to babble at a level sometimes reaching incoherence. About two weeks ago, he was pulling an all-nighter with some of his buddies and he dropped by my house at about 11:00pm while the other guys were on a caffeine run (don't worry, my parents were home and awake and everything and the most him and I did was kiss), and he was VERY tired. He was kind of just babbling along, and then something seemed to kind of just slip out: he said he loved me. I knew he wasn't exactly in a clear state of mind, so I shrugged it off as the exhaustion talking. A few days later, we had a small fight but wound up apologizing before bed. The morning after our fight, he left on a trip across the country for an engineering competition, and he started calling and/or texting me daily, something he'd never done before. Tonight when he called he was extremely tired again, so the conversation was short. Still, the conversation seemed normal until we started to say our goodbyes and he quickly slipped in that he loved me. I was confused and still didn't want to read too much into the things he's said when tired, so my reaction wasn't the best and I basically just told him to sleep well and that I'd see him tomorrow. I don't know quite how to take all this. In fact, I haven't slept a wink tonight, it's confusing me so much. What's going on here? Does he really love me? Should I just ask him when we see each other after he gets back?
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female
reader, Tasmanian devil  +, writes (3 April 2010):
 Maybe you should take what he says at face value, he loves you, if hes really private then it must have taken a lot for him to say it, stop brushing it away and just acknowledge it.
A
female
reader, hijacked_dignity +, writes (3 April 2010):
 It sounds like the first time might have potentially been a slip, but the second time? I think he was just trying to reinforce the first time, most likely testing the waters for your reaction. I have to give the guy credit, it takes a lot of guts to be the first to say that you love someone. I think he has pretty strong feelings for you in order to say those words, and the fact that he said it a second time without a return the first time says a lot too. He sounds like his emotions are deepening for you, and the fact that he kept in constant touch with you when he left for a while is a good sign.
I would definitely consider what YOUR feelings are before responding to his statements though. You should never feel pressured to say the same thing back to him, because I'm sure he'd rather you be honest rather than try to simply say the same thing to keep him happy. So just take the time to consider what your feelings towards him are, and if you are feeling really brave, bring it up! Talk to him about it. See which level you two are at in this relationship, and remember to be honest and a bit sensitive when it comes to this type of conversation. :) That's pretty awesome that he feels comfortable enough around you to say how he feels, and now it's just up to you to figure out how you honestly feel, and don't be afraid if you don't feel the same way yet. That happens sometimes too. The only thing you can do is know what you want, and the rest will just follow suit.
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