A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:*OP's own title*Recently, I started dating this guy. We've been out for a few times, going for drinks and dinners. When we met, he seemed to be really into me, he asked me lots of questions that showed that he wanted to get to know me further and were interested in family background, my perspective about things like having family, etc and he made body language that showed that he cared. I usually traveling for work and he remembered my schedule and knew when I am back. He would call me right away, asked me out and told me that he missed me and felt like he hadn't seen me for ages. We haven't slept together or anything beyond kissing checks (I didn't want to). What made me confused is he didn't usually ask me out on weekends, and he seems to be more interested in going to some parties, clubs or whatever hot events in the city. I knew because we are facebook friends and I could see him rsvp'ing to these events that he would be attending. I also noticed that after those parties, he typically was "friended" with many different girls on facebook, which I assumed he met at the parties. I am not really clingy or eager to have a relationship and I don't really think that much about him choosing those events over going out with me. Also, I actually never asked him out and I never called him either. I just typically responded when he called, texted or asked me out. He actually mentioned that one time, that he thought I was mysterious and that he kind of liked that. The reason I posted this question is because I am not sure about the dating rules or how to read if a man is interested in having a relationship with you beyond casual dating. I am new to the dating culture in this country and where I came from, casual dating or casual sex are not common. people tend to be friends first and only date if they are interested in pursuing further relationship so typically there is no question if a man is interested in having a serious relationship if he asked you for dates. My questions are, is he interested to have a further relationship beyond dating, or he just wants casual dates and is it normal that he keeps going to those parties and be friends with many new girls from the parties? Could he perceive my attitude (never contacted him unless he did) as a signal that I am not really that into him or is it okay to behave like that? I am sort of interested in getting to know him better, and currently I don't really date other people. On the other hand, I don't want to rush into a relationship and I would like to know if I should think about dating other people also.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2010): thanks for the answer... i am not a party person myself so i do feel weird by the fact that he is still into parties and honestly, that feels like a turn off to me and make me feel like i should open myself to date other people. the thing is, one way to meet people here in the area is through those parties... which mean i might bump into him in one of those parties. that actually make me feel akward to go to those parties. am i thinking too much? if i do have to go to that route, should i just go and ignore him, or just say hi to him as if things never happened?
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (3 April 2010):
 Is he interested beyond casual dating? I don't know. You have to find out when you meet him again. "I miss you"s don't mean much nowadays but you can be sure he wants to meet with you again. If he has you, there should be no need to go to parties again, unless you are there too. I can see that if you just go there to check on him and are not really enjoying yourself you would rather just stay home. I am the quiet type so I don't understand the party culture and I won't really be compatible with a party guy. It's okay to wait for his calls. Don't date other people. Stick to this one, either continue with it or end it, then think about other people.
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