A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I'm hoping out there some of you can help me understand this man i'm seeing better,as he is giving me so many differant signals that i'm not sure what to make of him.we have been having a relationship for many yrs, and he has told me many times that his feelings for me are not as strong as mine are for him.Well last week he says to me i think we should have a break for a while,i have a lot of stuff going on in my life right now and i think i need some space to sort it all out.He said first i was txting you morning and night,now you want a txt in the middle of the day and you expect a phone call everyday to, this is getting out of hand.I was really upset and i asked him are you sure this is what you really want,well he just looked at me with a look in his eyes that told me no, then he said can i send you kisses and hugs tonite and in the morning,i said yes of cause you can,well now he is calling me everyday and txting me through the day as well, does he care more than he is letting on or does he not?i find it hard to read him sometimes.
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female
reader, Aunty Honest  +, writes (24 February 2011):
 Dear Anonymous,
It sounds like this man is being really rather selfish. While I know it's hard because you still care about him, I think you deserve someone who reciprocates your feelings for them. Also, the premise for any relationship shouldn't be what HE wants. What do you want?
Do you want someone who makes you feel like you're not enough? Do you want someone who raises your expectations only to let them down? Do you want someone who makes you feel excessive for caring about them?
As painful as it is, I think you have to walk away and claim back some self-belief. And you know what? I bet then he'll come running.
Hope things get clearer soon.
A
male
reader, firstlovelastlove  +, writes (24 February 2011):
 "he said can i send you kisses and hugs tonite and in the morning,i said yes of cause you can,well now he is calling me everyday and txting me through the day as well, does he care more than he is letting on or does he not?" I would say he cares for you more than he is letting on. Maybe he doesn't know how to express to you his feelings for you. I am just one man but I know I do a lot better when I am asked one serious question at a time and given time to gather my thoughts and respond. I would think of a question to ask him that would answer what you are most curious about him. Ask him, wait for him to answer, then talk about his answer together. I wish you both all the very best!
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (24 February 2011):
 It sounds to me like he does care about you, but that he really doesnt know what he wants at the moment. It sounds like he may be scared of commitment and therefore that is why he said he wanted a break. But after saying that he is calling and texting just as much if not more, it sounds to me like he just does not know what he wants. But he cannot keep messing you around. You need to talk to him and tell him how you feel, ask him what he truely wants and tell him you are not going to wait around forever for him to make up his mind because it is not fair on you. Hopefully this will give him the push he needs to realise that he is either with you or not. There is no inbetween!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2011): Hi,
I think in this instance you need to ask him not to contact you if he wants a break. Explain that he is confusing you and because of the way you feel about him you are getting hurt.
I don't think that you need to cut all contact, but maybe for a couple of weeks or so you need to stop being in touch with him so you can clear your head.
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