A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I don't live in the same city. He says he is completely in love with me, but he doesn't do anything about us moving together to share a relationship. He is actually in the position to do that, to create a circumstance for me moving over or for him to move with me. I asked him to take this in consideration but he doesn't talk about it.I haven't met anybody else in the meantime in order to have a reason to cut this story off, though I have to admit I would love him to be more active in terms of us. Do you think it's even simpler than that and it's just that he doesn't like me enough?Paradoxically, ALL his friends love me and some of the single guys were very open about their interest in me.Recently he wrote me that a friend of his we had come across on a cruise asked for my number. I told him he can do whatever based on how he sees our relationship. He replied he loves being with me, but he is ok with the idea of me having other boyfriends. I don't believe that a man can say that if he cares at least a bit about the woman he is with. What do you think? Thank you! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, mitta  +, writes (26 May 2009):
Hmm this does sound rather suspect. Most men are quite possessive (not excessively) about their girlfriends, its only natural, so the idea of sharing a woman they profess to love with another man would horrify most men.
Unless they didnt really love that woman.
Perhaps you should look at how he is phrasing the word 'love'. He says 'I love spending time with you', 'I love being with you'... has he actually said he is in love with you? think about it carefully.
Maybe he does have other women on the go and hes making it fair. The fact that he doesnt want you to move in with him says hes very happy with things just how they are now. He doesnt want things to change.
If you want things to change then you're going to have to be straight with him about what you want. If things dont go your way then you have to just accept this and move on. Dont comprimise your happiness for this man. There are plenty out there that will be everything you want and things will be easy.
Hope this helps.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2009): Well it seems to me neither of you care that much about the other if he's not willing to commit and your willing to lake other blokes numbers. In my opinion you should both go your separate ways.
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A
female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries +, writes (26 May 2009):
 seems to me like maybe he already has other girls and is just saying that you can have other boyfriends to make it seem ok that he has other girls on the go.
i'd not bother with him if he is like this in this situation i mean he doesn't seem to love you that much if he doesn't care that you have other boyfriends and he wouldn't even consider moving in with you.
i mean what kind of guy is ok about a girl nay THEIR girl having other boyfriends?
you needd to get out of this he's clearly not showing you enough respect or anything of the sort which you completely deserve.
hope this helps.
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