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female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: What are the chances for a marriage going bad? Does every marriage goes bad, except the religious, like Christian marriages?It's not the same, that staying together for any cost, or love each other for real..Is it very rare,when people truly are in love for a life time? BUT not with their ''new wife'', or husband? Or is this a myth?Why is it not possible? What is the reason that so many people leaves their spouses for someone else? Why can't we love ''forever'' ? Is marriage a bad thing?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2009): Thanks so much for all the hopeful answers!Maybe ,there is hope some for long term marriage!
A
female
reader, LilPixie  +, writes (5 December 2009):
 Not every marriage falls apart. My boyfriend's grandparents have been together ever since they were around 15 (i'm not sure how old they are now, but they're his grandparents, so i'd say fairly old lol...)
One key thing in a relationship is communication! Without it, a relationship isn't going to get anywhere!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2009): No ,i don't think marriage are a way to go. People ,just can't understand, it is not about love, it is not about sex. This is about commitment. Nobody stays in love after 30 years. I don't think it is possible. Sorry!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2009): HELLO Ask oldersister !!!!
I thought ,it was really interesting what you wrote!
I totally believe,if you think your marriage will solve your unhappiness,the chances are very low,that it will happen on the long run. Of course, it is a good band aid for short term, but how you mentioned all the difficult times can destroy a relationship, if people doesn't take responsibility for their own happiness. I just wonder, why people can't be more conscientious about their own feelings..
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2009): hello satindesire
I'm asking ,if it is just a myth ,that some people can stay in love for 50 years or more, what is many times , the lenght of a marriage if they get married around 20 something..
Also , ''new wife '' means... That they are in love again, because they re-married, but not with their first wife. Like at 50 you are in love again until 70..
Because it is different than go on with the first one, especially with a few kids on the side. I mean ,that was not ''forever''... What I'm trying to find out ,if there are couples ,who are in love after they got married at 23,and they are still with the same person at 73... Or most people will try it new?
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2009): It has nothing to do with religion.
My husband and I went through a few relationships before we got married (first for both). By then, we knew what we wanted. I think me not marrying the first guy (or three guys) that I felt lust for allowed me to see what kind of person I want and what kind I did not.
The key is to find something that binds the two of you more than looks or lust or kids. We are very committed to make it work and when we do what-ifs ("what if I/he get into a coma" "what if we lose everything" "what if I lose a leg like that movie An Affair To Remember"), I can hear the sincerity in his voice when he outlines how to adjust and it doesn't matter.
My hubby still writes me love letters a few times a month, and after 11 years, I can say that I'm as in love or even more in love with him than ever. Unless he fakes his emotions in his letters (something he does voluntarily), he's still pretty smitten.
Time will tell but he's been talking about where to invest to retire and every conversation includes something that's for me as well--gardening, near a university, sunny weather--(it's funny to hear a guy barely out of his 30's talking about it) so I know he's thinking very long term--which is a good thing because I tend to be lost in the day-to-day thing.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (4 December 2009):
Marriage isn't a bad thing at all. And they don't all go bad, no. What has happened is the world has changed. More people expect more from life, they want more and if something doesn't seem like the fairytale it should be, rather than work at it, they think an affair will make it better. The thing is when you get married, you need to work at it (or even if you're unmarried and just in a relationship). No relationship works without effort. It takes that.
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