A
male
age
36-40,
*olidus
writes:I'm trying to get better at dating in general and talking to beautiful women. People say that I'm really good looking now, but being as I was overweight in high school I just don't feel comfortable chatting up strange women I meet and asking them for their numbers even now that I'm "Good Looking." or whatever. I still get really nervous and can never quite get up the nerve to ask them their numbers. Does anyone have any pointers on how one would go about doing this? What are the subtleties of asking a girl for her number?
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male
reader, Solidus +, writes (6 September 2008):
Solidus is verified as being by the original poster of the question Wow, lots of good advice here ladies! You both make really sound points. As always the female perspective is extremely welcomed and helpful.
A
female
reader, superrrshawna +, writes (5 September 2008):
 i'm interested in a guy if he shows he is confident in himself and carries himself well. i hear i am intimidating to walk up to or get to know, but honestly all it takes is a great personality and someone who looks put together!
i don't want a guy who tries to be too smooth. i think he is a slimeball. i like a guy who can come up and crack a joke, start a conversation on just about anything, capture my attention, then ask to see me again!
i went out dancing with my girl friends, and this guy i never would have looked at twice came up and starting listing off all of these hilarious pick-up lines. and i couldn't stop laughing! it was great.
also, i agree. offering a number is a lot safer. you don't get a rejection to the face - if she wants to call, she will. also, it opens up the option of her giving you her number.
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A
female
reader, Enzian  +, writes (5 September 2008):
 HiWell, I am from Europe and here things might be a little different, but anyway, I'll tell you my opinion.I myself don't mind if I can see that a man is a little nervous when he talks to me. Because that shows me, that I am not only the next one he is trying to flirt with, but he is a least a little interested.And for the number: I don't like to give my number to a man I only just met once. Because if I give my number, he can finde out quite a lot about me, but I still don't know anything about him. I don't have any controll, what is happenig with my number: will he ever call me? Was that real interest or just collecting an other number? Will he asking me to meet again? Do I want that? Or will he even give my number to one of his friends? (I am not paranoid, it really already happend that I got strange calls after giving my number to a stranger...)So what helps to show a woman real interest and make her feeling comfortable about you? It is very easy: Give her your number and tell her you would be very happy if she would call you!Of course, now you lose control about your number, but there are also some advantages: first of, you don't need to ask her. It is a real tricky part, asking for the number, because she could refuse. It is much easier to give your's. Second: the woman will be surprised, because she met a real gentleman. This man made the first step, but now it is up to her making the second one. She can deside now if she wants to meat you again or not. There is no presure to give her numbre, and if she wants to meet again, she can deside when and where. And third: if she calls you, you can be sure, that she is interested in meeting you again (if she gave you her number, that doesn't mean, she will answer your call with great happines. Maybe she gave her number, because she felt a little under presure, but an hour after, she regrets...).What do you think about this?
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