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female
,
anonymous
writes: Does anyone else here find long distance relationships really hard?? And depressing??I usually see my boyfriend once a fortnight, but he couldnt make it this weekend for what I thought was a pretty stupid, unimpressive reason. We were going to go away the weekend after but now that is impossible too. So its a whole month apart. I feel like I am always the one pushing for more time together while he sits back and lets me do all the arranging and stressing out about it. I am not going to moan to him this time and be the one worrying abou our time together as usual because I am tired of always being the one to arrange. I am literally not going to mention meeting up again until he has to arrange it himself. But will this kind of separation damage us as a couple?? For more background, we have been together two years and do speak and email every day.Thanks, for any help. xx
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female
reader, susu  +, writes (30 September 2006):
i personally know what u r going through i am in deep deep love and i have already been away from my boyfriend for three months how long we will be apart i dont know. it could be a very long time and how long until i see him i dont know either. even when we will be together, we will not be ablt to conquer our dream of getting married due to some very personal matters out of our hands. that does not stop us we talk everyday ( i know its expensive but its worth it) we chat we communicate in every eay possible, and most important we keep faith. sometimes i wonder what about if he goes and has sex with someone else ? but i have learnt to erase such thoughts from mind and concentrate on good times coming hopefully. do the same it really helps
A
female
reader, Toria +, writes (25 September 2006):
 Any relationship is hard, long distance has its good and bad sides, the good is when you do see them you try to make the most of the time together and therefore most the time things don't get in a rut but on the bad side you don't get to see them as much and miss them like mad.
I think he has got too use to you doing everything to the point where he knows he doesn't have to put the effort in to arrange anything as he knows its something you always do.
I think leaving it for him to make the next move to see you is a good thing hopefully will wake him up to the fact he needs to put more effort into things.
If you are a strong couple and love each other this time apart shouldn't ruin anything all it should do is make you both miss the other one more and make you both realise you don't want to go this long before you see each other again.
Hope it all works out :o)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2006): My best friend's girlfriend lives in france and he lives over in the northwest. It is very depressing- becuase they have to wait 5 years till they see eachother again- its a diffficult thing and it causes lots of problems. Keep it diverse- its easy sometimes when your not around to be put on the backburner. But keep in contact through diversity( humor, funny letters) and make sure to keep the human touch to it( a video recording, a tape recording) just to remind the person you are actually here and living. Otherwise good luck and keep up the good work!
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A
female
reader, confused3473  +, writes (25 September 2006):
 Hey babe
Reading your message i could have practically writtern it myself. I dont know if i can offer any advice as im going through the same thing at the min but hopefully hearing from someone going through the same thing will help
My bf is away at the min for a month with work. If your like me you will say ''right this time im not going to let it bother me'' yet still do. It plays on my mind from when I wake to when i sleep I feel as tho i always text him first (although he does sometimes) and as tho I need something from him and i dont know what that is.
i guess i want him to miss me and get upset that he is not with me, like i do about him, but he never does as he is very relaxed about things. Maybe yours is the same.I do my own head in by thinking 'this time last week i was with him' I hang on his texts If I dont get one back i panic I hardly get to talk on the phone to him We just text really so its hard When we do talk afterwards I feel worse and have no idea why as he is lovely. As you say its hard and depressing.
Its so hard being away from them no matter how many things you try to do to keep yourself occupied or friends you see People have sugessted to me volentering and hobbies How about trying a class at your local gym
I can be quite emotional and cry. My bf doesnt know that I get like this tho I try to be happy around him.
Could you not try talking to him about you feeling you need a little bit more 'give' from him I wish I could say something that I thought could brighten you up.
As we are going through a simlar thing I havent marked this as anonymous ( i usually do ) Let me know how you get on
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