A
female
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anonymous
writes:I am a 17 year old girl. I have really deep feelings for my best friend who I have been friends with for about 6 months now. When I first met him, I thought I had feelings for him more then a friend but decided to just wait, get to know him, and develop a friendship first. We both grew really close! About 3 months after that, he had to move away with his family to another city. This city is like a two day car drive from where I live. Not too long after he moved, he told me that he had a major crush on me and wished that he lived back here again so we could be more then friends. I told him i felt the same way.Anyways, so the point of this whole story is that, I really love him! Hes not only my best friiend but he feels like sooo much more. I miss him soooo much and he tells me he feels the same but...whenever he talks about other girls, whether they be just friends or someone he likes, i get sooo angry and upset! I am just soooo jealous, the thought of him even talking to another girl makes me feel seriously sick in the stomache. I have become so jealous that even just him mentioning another girls name, makes me feel really bad!!! I hate feeling like this cuz i know my feelings un reasonable. He should be able to talk to other girls, have girl friends and even a girlfriend if he finds one he likes.But sometimes it feels like hes rubbing it in my face, either that or is being totaly insensitive. I mean not long after he told me how he felt, he went out clubing with friends and although the whole night he kept ringing me cause he missed me, the next day when I spoke to him, he was telling me about all these hot girls he saw. I dont know why he had to say that. And he always talks about his this girl he used to like who lives in the same city as him now. although she turned him down, she is becomng very friendly with him and this makes me soooo jealous as well!I want him to be happy but...i want it to be me the one that makes him happy! not someone else.pleaseee someone...help me get over this! i dont know what to do. i hate feeling this way.ive become so jealous and insecure lately about this whole situation and the feelings get evenn worse and worse. im so confused. one min he is saying he loves me, the next hes telling me about all the chicks he has seen lately. whats going on????
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female
reader, Toria +, writes (29 September 2006):
 Having feelings for someone comes the hurt when they are talking about other girls, this is normal so mentioning it to him doesn't make you obssesive just means you care and it bothers you.
Surely he should be able to relate to the way you are feeling if he holds the same feelings for you as surely there are worries on his part of you possibly meeting someone else etc.
All you can do it be honest, if you lose him from this then the friendship wasn't strong enough in the first place and you can walk away knowing you didn't not say something you know you should have and regret the fact you didn't.
Good luck :o)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks to Toria, you made complete sense.
But I fear that if I tell him that he will think i'm like obssessed and overly jealous and yeah. I don't think its a good look.
I've even gone so far now to reading his emails all the time (the ones from girls). And I get really upset when they sign them with a 'xoxo' or he signs them with a 'xoxo' too. And I get upset when he tells them stuff about his day that he doesn't tell me. I get really jealous when he doesn't talk to me much some days, but then I look at his myspace page and he has like 1000 comments from other friends so he was obviously too busy talking to them, friends who he can see whenever he wants too! grrrr.
For a while there I felt like he felt the exact same way as I feel about him, but in the last few days, I seem to be geting really really insecure and I feel like he just isn't paying me as much attention. I don't know if this is just me being really insecure or if he is really doing that. And if he is, why would he do that to somoene he says he feels like that for?
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A
female
reader, Toria +, writes (25 September 2006):
These feelings are normal, you love him so of course the thought of him with someone else is going to hurt.
You and him are friends so when another girl is becoming a friend of his you feel it is taking away your place in his life, the only place you hold right now therefore that position is more important to you.
You need to tell him how you are feeling, you can't expect him to be faithful to someone he isn't with but he can respect your feelings and not be mentioning all these other girls to you all the time.
Good luck :o)
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