A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello guys, I am dating a guy who's at university and I am still in high school. We have been in this relationship gor about 1 year now. I am a virgin and he's not. The thing is that I don't think he deserves me because if we have sex I'll be giving him somethng of which he's not giving me. He's a very nice guy, he understands me and respects me. He sometimes asks for sex and I'll tell him I am not ready and he really undestands that and he always tells me that he's going to wait until I am ready to do it. Do you think he deserves me?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2010): A guy who has remained a virgin has used even more willpower. There are many of these guys.
A
female
reader, jodieleigh  +, writes (5 September 2010):
 you have a keeper right there! his will power is amazing. it says a lot that he cares about you. and of course he deserves you. and he thinks that he does too. he wouldn't be with you if he thought different. and the fact that he is not pressuring you says a lot too
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A
female
reader, kirra07  +, writes (5 September 2010):
Your virginity isn't a gift or something to trade with someone else. Losing your virginity is a personal decision about whether you feel ready enough, desire to, and feel comfortable enough with your partner. If you really feel that you want to have sex with someone who is also having sex for the first time, that's your right. If you want to wait until marriage, that's your right as well. It's up to your own beliefs and values.
But I don't believe that virginity has to be a trade. Especially since your boyfriend doesn't have his to trade to you. What else can he give you that's worth your virginity? It's something you lose because you want to, and it's your choice. Your boyfriend hasn't pressured you and is being understanding. If you care for him and want to and feel comfortable with him, that's more than enough for it to be a good person to share your first time with. Just take your time. It's not something you have to rush into.
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A
female
reader, sarahrose20 +, writes (5 September 2010):
i think you should think about how often he asks you for sex the fact that its been a year thats a real commitment he obviously loves you but if you do decide tell him you want it to be special n for him to take his time planning the setting and arousing you n you will remember your first time as a wonderful time but you may not orgasm the first time if you dont tell him or hop on top there is no wrong way you get on n move back n forth the faster the better
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2010): I don't think you should say "deserves" for the same reason that I don't think you should need to "forgive him". He has done nothing wrong.
But is he what you want for your first sexual partner? Even though he has done nothing wrong it would still be a compromise for you to settle for someone who does not match what you really want.
Maybe you want to hold out for a virgin and that is fine. If so then I say more power to you. There are plenty of guy virgins at your age and quite a few are totally by choice. The guy virgins are growing to outnumber the girl virgins as people get older.
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