A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:hi me and my boyfriend broke up two weeks ago, i didnt want it to happen but he said it had too due to him needing to sort out his life. he has a lot of debts plus we live some distance apart.he told me that the decision will haunt him for the rest of his life, that he loves me and he is sorry.i told him that i wanted no contact if i am to move on.he text me four days ago to say "hello, i keep thinking about you, hope your ok x"i did not answer as i am still raw over the break up.should i have answered? do you think that he is texting in the hope we get back in contact and get back together?i would like it to be so, but i dont want to stay in contact just as friends as i know if i do i wont move on.do men end things then change there minds, or am i just hoping for something that has gone. thankyou.
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broke up, debt, get back together, move on, text Reply to this Question
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male
reader, duce00  +, writes (3 November 2009):
 I think you are both in the throws of some rather typical breakup pain. Your opinions about his behavior are probably accurate. But I will also say that his stated need to sort out his life is also accurate.
Yes, he misses you and still loves you. No, this does not mean you two have the makings of a wonderful life together.
Yes, men (and women) end things and change they're minds. No, this does not mean that it was just a little whoopsie and should be overlooked.
If you find yourself broken up and agonized in a relationship it is usually a clear sign that its better to move on.
I say be strong and stick to your gut instincts.
A
male
reader, neo89  +, writes (3 November 2009):
He's changed his mind. Im sure of it.
Men quite often make decisions that they think will be for the best, then will deal with the decision and realise it was a HUGE mistake.
I've been there a few times..
He knows it probably can't work with you two, with the distance, and the other problems, but he just has hope that in time, it will work out, and that his life will be sorted out enough for you to get back together.
Even if he says he wants you to move on, he's probably hoping in the back of his mind that you wont forget him, and will still want to be with him.
But maybe I'm just different. But I would say he misses you a lot.
Hope this helps :)
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A
female
reader, FireAndIce  +, writes (3 November 2009):
I'm in a situation quite similar to yours. My guy also left, leaving me with the reason that he needs to sort his life out. 4 Months later he's coming around again...and the reason is because I didn't contact him.
I think you did the right thing by not replying to his sms.
He needs to get to a place where he misses having you in his life.
I think he contacted you because, truthfully, he misses you and is starting to regret his decision.
Since he hasn't heard from you, and after the last thing you said to him, it's dawning on him that it's possible you're moving on. It's going to make him panick.
I think, give him some time to really sort his life out and in the meantime try and do everything to show him that you're living your life and you're okay without him.
It will really make him appreciate you.
I wish you all the best
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