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Do you think she is actually committed to me?

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Question - (8 February 2010) 3 Answers - (Newest, 8 February 2010)
A male United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Ok so here is my question. I am enaged to the woman of my dreams, love her very dearly. Recently I feel as though she is not committed to me in our relationship. I recently had a good friend's fiance ask her some questions. My boys fiance asked her when she goes out does she take the engagement ring off. My fiance said she wears sweaters that she can cover the ring up with. She said that she likes the guys at bars to hit on here but they are all douche bags and she realizes that she has a good man at home. Is that something to worry about or what? She covers her ring up??? And not to mention our sex life has been cut to a minimum too. I am just affraid that later down the road when it gets closer to our wedding date she doesn't just leave me. Do you think she is actually commited to me? Thanks for any feedback.

View related questions: fiance, sex life, wedding

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A male reader, polarkite United States +, writes (8 February 2010):

polarkite agony auntI did not think there was a problem until you mentioned the minimal sex. The two together sound kind like the relationship is going downhill. I'd try to talk to her about your relationship together; and ask why it's not the same anymore? You guys need to have an honest discussion. Don't assign blame. Let her know you want to make it better.

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (8 February 2010):

I would have to say for her to be covering her ring up and to allow men to hit on her so much is worrying. Clearly there is no reason for her to cover up the ring. And if there are other problems, which there clearly are, perhaps this is the time to speak her. You don't want to marry her, only for her to suddenly meet another guy in that bar and cheat.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2010):

She should be proud to wear her ring and she should be flaunting it for all to see. This is not a normal way for an engaged woman to behave. I really think you should confront her about it. I know you're scared to lose her, but better to lose her now instead of investing more time and heartache. Don't let her know that you sent your friend's fiance in to do some recon though. You can just ask her straight out if being engaged/ getting married is really what shes wants. Or you could even ask her why your sex life together is failing; which may be a more gentle segue into the bigger question, which is asking if being engaged/ getting married is really what she wants.

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