A
female
age
30-35,
*3andWant2No
writes:Hi im 13 and really wnat to have a baby i know im young but i could handle it my sister had a baby at 16 and she is an amazing mom i wanted to know if you think this is a good idea or not? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2008): I am 30 years and i am still debating wether i should have a baby or not? Your still very Young and you have a full life a head of you. Taking care of a baby is not that easy, and it takes a lot of effort, time, and money. You can't even work at this age so how are you going to support this child? if you have a baby at this age you are not being fair to the baby. Just because your sister had a baby at 16 does not it make right or okay to have a baby. Think twice before taking that step. Having a baby at that age is not a game that you could toss a side when ever you are board or tired of. A baby is human being that have rights.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2008): You must be brainwashed!Babies are not just cute little
people that you hold and play with all the time.You have to be there for their every need.Examples:when they're hun-
gry,if they need a diaper change,if their sleepy,or even if
they just want comforting.Having a baby can change your life forever.It can postpone your education,which is so
important.Keep you from having fun,going out with your friends.And if you're really smart,then you do not want to
have a baby.Sometimes,I think I'm ready,but I know it's
better to wait.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2008): it is NOT a good idea.i have a friend that got preganent at 13 but her bf was 26 i dont think it was illegal but her life is miserbal she doesnt go out she has to watch the kid.she cant party or go out wit other guys cuz no teenage guy wants a gf wit a kid thats not even his..i think that u are wayy too young..i have another friend that got preganent at 14 and she couldnt wait now i barely see her she doesnt go out at all..having a baby is not about cuteness it does cry and it wants everything..i think you should just enjoy stepping in the teenage age and just go out wit guys,enjoy life,party,have great friends and dont have a baby
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2008): You are way too young, don't even think about it. How do you expect to finance bringing up a baby, by expecting your parents to foot the bill? Wait until you're older, have an education, have a good job and are with someone who you love and who also wants a child. You have all the time in the world for this, it would be selfish to do it now.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (3 June 2008):
 Hi, I'm going to draw a line between your feelings about wanting a baby and the reality of whether having one is a good idea or not.
I think it's perfectly normal for girls to want to have a baby, after all, our bodies are built to bear children and to nurture them. Our hormones start working on us too, and seeing someone else with a baby seems to be the best thing that could ever happen to them!
I think lots of girls think that having a baby will give them someone who loves them, someone who will make them feel special and important and that they have made something beautiful in this world.
I also expect that your sister having a baby at 16 makes you just a little bit jealous of her AND her baby, because my guess is that she is getting ALL the attention right now.
Now comes the reality part of this answer. Your sister probably isn't getting much sleep. Her friends are going out without her because she has to stay home and take care of her new baby. She probably regrets what's happened, just even a tiny bit, because her life has been changed forever, and she can't go back to a carefree and simple childhood.
Babies are hard work, they cry a lot, need their diapers/nappies changed, they don't really listen when you tell them that you need them to be quiet for a while so you can sleep. Once they start moving on their own around the house, they have to be watched constantly, because they can get into so much trouble and get hurt and it'll be your fault as their mother for letting them do anything!
Will you do me a favor and read this questiona and the answers, and then list the top ten good ideas why you should have a baby right now at this point? That would be very helpful to us all!
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/im-17yrs-old-and-ready-to-have-a.html
Keep in mind that the original question asker here was 17.
So please read this and then get back to us about what you think about it again.
My very best wishes to you and your family.
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A
male
reader, Dr. Reality Check  +, writes (2 June 2008):
 No, actually this is the stupidest idea I have ever heard. How could you 'handle it' as you put it? Do you have the money to give the child the best possible quality of life - NO, will you be able to look after it properly - NO, because you'll be at school. I could go on. And what kind of guy is going to want to handle having a baby at such a young age?
Leave having babies to the adults - you are child. Until you can handle having a baby on your own without any help from your parents financially etc, you most certainly are NOT ready for a baby. Start concentrating on doing well in school to get a good job and maybe one day you will be able to give a baby a great life.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2008): Young children often want to have babies to fill a gap. They want someone to love and they want someone to love them back.
Are you lonely or feel unloved?
You may think that your sister's baby is cute and that she is a great mum, but does she get a lot of help from your own mum? You'd need a lot of help too. This wouldn't really be fair on your mum.
Your sister is older than you are and I bet she finds having a child very, very hard.
Your body is not fully developed yet... Having a baby would ruin your figure and probably damage your body.
A girl your age should not be having sexual interaction, never mind be giving birth... It would be too much for your boy.
Would you not feel ashamed telling your mum and dad that you were pregnant at only 13?
You have a chance to have a childhood yourself... Your sister unfortunatly didn't have that option.
I don't mean to be harsh sweetheart, but it would be better for you to wait.
It would be a lot healthier for you to have a child when you were married and you had a husband that would be there to help support you both financially and helping to look after the baby... It would be nicer on a baby aswel to have a father who would always be there for him/her.
You have the chance to play and have fun... Have a life that is not bogged down by respocibilty... A life with chose, A life where you could get education and get a job that would allow you to have a baby finacially care-free in the future.
Think about what you would be mising out. Would you really want to go to school with a massive tummy and have the other children judge you?
I'm sorry if I'm harsh... I'm just stating facts and asking questions that I think you should REALLY ask yourself.
I don't think it's a good idea for you to have a baby now... I think you should wait for quite a few years. I am not saying that you would not be capable... But you'd live a much fuller life if you waited. Play with your sister's baby and enjoy spending time with your nephew... But I think you should put off having a baby.
Emivia. X
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2008): I think it's a real stupid idea.
Yes your sister is a wonderfull mother but she's 16, she's a lot older than you. What about school, how you gonna take care of a baby and go to school. Babies sleep very little, can you cope with little or no sleep. Where you gonna get this baby from, you gonna buy it in the shop? Do you like cleaning shit, because babies shit a lot. The also cry, get sick easily...... I could go on and on and on.
What have you got to offer this baby. You'd love to have one, but what could you give it. Do you have any education, do you have any money. Where you gonna get the money to buy food, clothes and equipment. Plus once you get a baby you can't change your mind, you can't give it away, because your bored, tired, fed up and totally exhausted. You have to look after it for at least 18years, it will depend on you totally for everything.
Then there's the pregnancy and the birth. It hurts like hell to give birth, and it will probably worse for you because your so young and probably very tiny. Then there's the problem of tearing, morning sickness, swollen tummy, kicking baby....... Oh heck I could go on all night.
Stupid, Stupid idea. Please go and talk to your mum and sister about how your feeling, don't do anything stupid.
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female
reader, :):):) +, writes (2 June 2008):
I think you know what answers you're going to get here!
Its normal to get maternal but please think about what it wouldmean. You'd have to give up your education, you wouldnt be able to be live a normal teenage life, no partying.
You should be in a strong relationship and be secure financially before you even think about having a baby.
If you still feel tempted, ask your sister about how hard it is and even babysit for a few hours.
Afterall you have another 30 years to have a baby, but you wont get to be a teenager again.
xxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2008): Firstly, what are your main reasons for wanting to have a baby? If it's just to have someone to love who will love you back then it is the wrong reason. I have no doubt that your sister probably is a great mum but i bet if you told her you want to have a baby she would be the first person to tell you it's not a good idea. You're still very young and I'm not sure you know what a big responsibility having a baby actually is. Yes they are cute and no-one can resist smiling at a baby but they are hard work and it's not something that you can just do away with when you get bored. A baby is a person and it would be yours for life. I had my son at 19 and i love him dearly but if i could do it again i would have waited as i feel i wasn't ready and had i have waited i would have been able to provide a better life for him without struggling alone.Who exactly are you going to have a baby with and how do you think the father would feel? I would strongly recommend you wait a few years, finish your schooling, enjoy life, get a good job and then have a baby with someone you love.
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