A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:When your ex is in a rebound,I read generally they start doing extravagent(sp) things together and making big plans usually and spending all there time together. I just found out my ex is going snowboarding with his new girl and her family. This kind of made me sad although we had moved on from eachother, and it hasnt been long since we broke up, but it made me sad because my family didnt approve of him and he hated that he couldnt do things with me and my family, and now hes with a girl who does.But ive read that generally when they start to do things they wish they could of done with there ex or starting planning things they miss there ex more and more because even though there having fun. These big experiences leads them to realize that wish it was with another person (there ex) even though this is an ideal situation for him going with her family, do you think he will think of me at all when he goes? I know i would at least think i wish i could have experienced that with him if i did something like that, do you think he will think the same?
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male
reader, DeadEyeDick +, writes (17 January 2010):
 I'll tell you this having just come out of a 8 year relationship, alot of time was spent being selfish, on my part, instead of not wanting to do the things she wanted to do, I wish I had just done them if nothing more then for the sake of spending that time with her, of course we know what hindsight is! but who knows, obviously your not that over him, or you truly wouldnt care if he thinks about you, but I understand what your saying, and if I may be point blank direct with you, and not have you think im being a dick, or insensitive, because im really not, but who knows if he thinks about you? obviously if you both had moved on, you would hope he's not spending his time in a new relationship stewing over the past! or his new relationship will be a thing of the past before to long! its not like he will ever tottally forget about you, but he's obviously made himself forget it enough to move on! Ive learned the hard way, "what if's" are pointless and destructive! if your 18 and he's 18 who cares what your familys think anyways? when you turn 18 it then becomes YOUR life! therefore it's your choice who your with and who you love, and also what you do with that person!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe does have his own family but they have financial issues. Also, his dad died two years ago. And its just him his 32 year old sister her kids and her husband that live there he doesnt have his own room he shares one with his mom. Because the rest of the rooms are for the kids, and he gets into it with his sister because she is a bitch and still lives at home and basically uses all his moms money. His mom is always working and isnt around too much, but sometimes. His mom is looking at places to rent because they will probably lose there house, if it wasnt for the sister living there, she has no income and doesnt pay for gorceries, anything. They still do family things together but he doesnt have a great home life i would say. Of course everybody has problems but he isnt living under the best conditions.
Her family isnt rich but there not poor, i dont think he has ever done things like going snowboarding with a girlfriend or family. But him and I talked about these things and going on trips and getting a cabin and drinking hot chocolate or going to a beach resort. And we wanted to do those things together and with my family but my family didnt really accept him so he wasnt around my family too much.
Im not really worried about him coming back, in fact i just think if were meant to be we will work out. His rebounded about 4 weeks after we broke up but now its seemed to turn serious they say this is because of infatuation at first so it might not be all that serious, do be honest he is just dependent on loving someone or having someone to do things with on a saturday night because he doesnt want to be at home. And just going out and finding a new lover is the best way to have fun and get away rather then fixing things with me.
Im just wondering since we couldnt do these things but wanted to, and also had to do a lot of sneaking around we couldnt just see eachother anytime we wanted, or things like that and it made us value eachother a lot more. He doesnt have to sneak around with her, he can go on family trips with her, and they always say you value what you cant have. When somethings come so easily they seem less valuable. So im just wondering if he will miss me when he goes on this trip.
Just as many people or maybe even you guys. If you wanted to do these things with your ex and didnt get to and now your in a new relationship and you can just do them your bound to think of her aren't you? And that you wished you could have done that with her, even though maybe you have moved on? Thats all im asking.
Thanks guys.
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A
male
reader, DeadEyeDick +, writes (17 January 2010):
Does he not have his own family??? why is he so dependent, on finding a girl, who's family accepts him? that sounds very very very strange to me! do you know if the new girls family happens to be wealthy?? answer that for me if you could?
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A
male
reader, softtouchmale2003 +, writes (17 January 2010):
 You posed a good question.
I think he does think of you, even though he's trying to move on. And yes, whatever was lacking in your relationship with him is the exact quality that he's searching for in his next relationship.
Does this mean he'll ever forget you? No. It just means that things didn't work out between you two.
Does it mean his rebound relationship will last? No. Typically rebounds don't last, but on rare occasions they do. It depends on the girl and how she can deal with his failed relationship with you, and her new relationship with him.
Intuitively people fall in love for emotional reasons that involve intimacy and enjoyment. In other words if she brings joy to his life, she's going to be attractive to him and have the character traits he's searching for in a relationship.
If he breaks up with her and comes back to you, he's going to want to crave exactly that which he could never experience with you and your family.
Assuming that what you've written is true, your ex sounds like a family-oriented guy who is happy on the inside. His interaction with your family basically sucked that happiness out of him.
Unless there's some way to offer up what he needs in his life, even if you got back together -- he might not be happy.
That could be cured of course, by basically telling your family to stop being miserable about him. But again, sometimes things don't mix well when we choose our mates.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (16 January 2010):
No, I don't. Actually, even if he came back it would't work out, because there would still be the same problems. I'm afraid to say that he has moved on and isn't coming back. Don't make the mistake of thinking people come back, because either they don't, or when they come back it still doesn't work out. And I'm also afraid to say that him going away with the family says that it seems he's been accepted by them. Let him go.
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