A
male
age
36-40,
*biwankenobi
writes:I am madly in love with a girl. I have told her this but she says she thinks i am an awesome guy but that she is seeing someone. I kept texting her telling her how much i like her but she now doesnt reply. What should i do?I really love her, but i dont think she has much confidence in me as we dont actually know each other that well :s
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female
reader, Share Bear +, writes (18 January 2010):
 It does sound like she was more than happy to keep people unaware that she was involved with someone- perhaps she was trying to keep her options open. I shouldn't feel so guilty if she was intentionally letting you up for a fall. That's messing with your feelings- AND this other guy's feelings too. However casual they are, she apparently wasn't free to actually get involved with you.
If this is the case, it sounds like you might've had a lucky escape. Its better to wear your heart on your sleeve, and to have found out the truth straight away, than to have wasted anymore time letting her dance between two guys.
For all people worry about exactly what they should say to the people they fancy, or are concerned not to appear too keen, I've always theorised that if someone you adored asked you out in the clumsiest way possible, you'd still accept! (Equally of course, if someone you genuinely have no interest in asked in even the most gracious fashion, you'd still politely decline!)
So long as you're true to your own integrity (and the ways of the force) you can't go too far wrong. So don't beat yourself up about this- you’ve learnt enough from this to move on with no regrets!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2010): I think its possible that she was just leading me on.
Plus on her facebook it says she is single so i knew she was not seriously seeing someone, but probably just casual seeing someone. If she had a serious boyfriend i defo would forget about it straight away. Which makes me very uncomfortable thinking that shes just a flirt.
The point is that i had developed strong feelings for her, she seemed relatively interested until i came on too strong then she told me she was seeing someone.
I have done nothing wrong other than just tell her i love her, which i do. Plus a little bit of harressing, and i did get carried away, which i regret and apologized many times for :S
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2010): Plain and simply, Obi Wan- she's committed to someone else. It was either wrong, or unfortunate that you didn't find this out until after you had already developed feelings for her- depending on whether she intended to mislead you or to lead you on. But the fact remains- she's taken AND she's said no.
Imagine how you would feel if someone tried similar with your girlfriend? How would you react to someone trying to persuade Leia to leave Han, eh?? Don't turn to the Dark Side, Obi Wan! Seriously, it's so obviously wrong to intefere with someone else's relationship. And to confirm this- she has said no.
I wish you luck in the search- though stick to single people only!
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A
male
reader, obiwankenobi +, writes (17 January 2010):
obiwankenobi is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks again for all the responses, i'm really overwhelmed by all the advice and concern. Oh well, i guess i'll just try and forget about the whole thing and move on. I wasnt acting very cool and underplayed myself. This girl was totally my type and i got carried away, plus i'm not very experienced with women and quite a shy person, thus the reason why i am on this site. I'm just gonna try and forget about her and hope she comes back to me.
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A
male
reader, obiwankenobi +, writes (16 January 2010):
obiwankenobi is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks very much for the replies, i really appreciate them.
I'm feeling extremely heart broken and all i can think about is this girl. I'm not a wierdo or anything, this girl seemed genuinely interested in me in the beginning, we have similar interests and similar personalities. But now things have become quite awkward as i told her that i loved her via a text message (which i regret as i came on too strong, but was growing tired of not knowing how she felt about me and didnt want to get in the friends zone). She then said she was seeing someone. Then i sent her messages on christmas and new years, but she didnt reply. then she didnt wish me happy birthday so i deleted her as a friend on facebook. Then i felt really bad and started sending her messages apologizing. Basically i have fucked it all up and feel really really bad. :(
:(
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A
female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (16 January 2010):
You have entered what women call the "pest list". Hopefully she is not showing your desperate pathetic messages to her friends and having a laugh at your expense. If a girl says no then its no. Women also don't like men who are too eager. Imagine if it was a girl who did this to you? Would you want to date her or would you be put off? If you are still interested then maybe send her an apology for getting carried away. Just explain that you realise she is not available and you respect her decision. After that steer clear for a few weeks then start comms again but without the desperate expressions of love. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (16 January 2010):
Sorry, but her not replying says it all. She's not interested at all. You're an awesome guy, she said it herself. But she's not the one for you because she's taken, and her not replying is her way of saying it. Move on.
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