A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:PLease help me. IS my boyfriend sullking?We have been dating for 2 months and he has been sleeping over and spending time with me and my 3 kids, 67a=nd 13. They love him already and they have a lot of fun. Just one thing bothers me, he drinks more than socially, I think he has an alcohol problem. He has to have a 6 pk or more a couple times a week especially toward the end of the work week. He is a different person when he drinks and I don't enjoy being with him when he's under the influence. ANyway I love him and lot and he promised to slow his role on the drinking to respect me and kids more with this issue. LAst thursday he got off work, I picke d me up, cause his truck is in the shop, he came to my house drinking a forty oz and holding a 6pk of coroners, well I asked him not to open the 6pk up until the tomorrow- Friday or so, cause it was late and didn't want to deal with that around my kids and I had to got work the next morning. Well he started yelling at me, screaming at me,saying that I'm not his mom and I can't tell him what to do and that this is bullsh...and that he didn't want to hear it. SO I intern said what about respect me and my kids and just waiting until tomorrow- he said I don't need to do that, and continued jestering. SO I said to him well if you open that up , you will not sleep in my bed, slepp on the sofa.,we start yelling at me againg telling he's not my culd and I can't tell him what to do, he started cursing and yelling me againg, telleing me to take him and I said No! I'm not taking you home while your talking to me any kind of way, find your ride. And he just came saying f..this s.., I'm gonna do what I want do and before I knew it I had through on my breaks, I was so shock that he was saying that nothing mattered. We we got home, I was in his face,trying to talk to him, he kept turninga away from, telling me don't touch and get out of his face and to take him home. SO I said find your a ride if you think you need to hande me like that and he called his cousins. He accused me of hitting him and I only tapped on the shoulder to get his attention and to let him know that he was hurtiing my feeling. It got so bad where it escaladed outside, where he was outside waiting for a ride from his relative and I went behind him and tried to talk to him out there and in which he bagan laughing about things and before I knew I had picked up rocks in the drive way and thrown at him for laughin. I felt so hurt by the whole thing and I hurting now. Even after that , the last couple days I have called him and left messages , he has not returned any of my calls, and I'm hurting even more now that ever cause I truly love him. But after three days of unreturn calls, I will not try to contact any further. I think if he really loves me, he would have reached out to me by no. I feel like me someone just hit me with a ton of bricks, cause I wanted the relationship and he was so loving and caring to us when he was not drinking and I loved being around him. He had been trying to talk to me for 2 yrs and had told my family I'm the one he always wanted, and he would call me on all his breaks and everyday up until the incident. MY question is do you thin it;s over since has not returned my calls. Should I move on and leave it alone or will he come around and realize how much I love hime?
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female
reader, supersofi  +, writes (10 December 2007):
 It sounds like this man does indeed have a huge alcohol problem, without meeting his own rock-bottom this man will continue to put alcohol before everything in his life.
It also sounds like you have been through pain prior to this, you need to take care of yourself & heal your wounds which may be caused or relationship or your past.
I would like to suggest that you read a book called 'Women who Love Too Much' which may help you to get this into perspective and learn how to choose a partner who will give both you and your children the respect you deserve. I have read it and find it a most useful tool in life.
A
female
reader, Mistify  +, writes (10 December 2007):
 Poor you.
Yes - this guy is definitely sulking, and probably drinking himself into a coma.
The real question here, is not if you think that he will come back to you, but if you really think it will be good for you and your kids if he does?
This man sounds like a real jerk. He swore at you, used abusive language and acted like a real baby. He even refused to listen to your pleading about the alcohol.
You seem like you really got frustrated at him, and your frustration turned into aggression. All these things are really bad signs. Usually when we are in a good relationship, our partners bring out the BEST in us, not the worst.
I think for your sanity, and for that of your children, you need to forget about this guy, and move on with your life.
My mother once dated a guy who used to drink more than socially. It just got worse and worse, and he turned into a full blown alcoholic, who eventually ended up in hospital because of liver failure. All this put a lot of strain on my relationship with my mother, and i even left home.
PLEASE - if you won't get out of this relationship for yourself, then do it for your children. Forget about this guy.
You deserve better.
Good luck.
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A
male
reader, Asexy +, writes (10 December 2007):
 I don't think I'm about to give you the advice you want, and I'm sorry for that. But I hope you will think about it anyway.
You don't want this guy around you or your children.
Good for you for not bring him home when he was drinking. As for your other actions (throwing rocks, etc.) he seems to bring out the worst in you.
Let him go, and good riddance. You're better off alone than with him. If you take him back you become his enabler, and he'll take you down with him. Not only should you stop trying to contact him, but if he tries to contact you please ask him to stop.
You have an opportunity to make a clean break. Please take it -- you and your children are better off. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Serinity +, writes (10 December 2007):
 Sorry dear, but I think the answer is pretty obvious, and not because he's not calling you back, but because of the fact that you have children and he has already been verbally abusive to you. Look, you may love him now, but it's only going to get worse until he helps himself. If you two are already going rounds like that then surely it will only get worse, more than likely physical. Let it go now, save yourself all the pain and suffering that you and your children will endure if you stay with him. When he's ready he'll probably come back crying the blues and apologizing, your first instinct is going to be to give in. I urge you, for you and your childs safety, don't give in. Accept his apology and remain friends, AT MOST. I am speaking from experience and you will be sorry if you don't just let him go and move on with your life. At least do it for your children because they are the MOST important. Your Mr. Right is out there, don't settle for less. Good luck and God bless!
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