A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend dumped me a few days ago because 'he didn't want the commitment of a girlfriend anymore'.Obviously I was devastated, but agreed with the break up and wished him the best, I didn't beg or plead.Just this morning, I e-mailed him just telling him I understand the break up, and that I recognize the fact that I was quite clingy. I told him that this break up has made me open my eyes to realize that guys have a life besides their girlfriend and that they need time to themselves every once in a while without their girl harassing them 24/7.I asked him to just think about me and him. I said: 'I'm going to give you some time to yourself to really think about whether ending me and you for good is the right thing to do, and to think about whether you want to give it another go now that I know how to act and I know what you want in a relationship. But if I haven't heard from you in a week, I'm letting this go, because I can't be waiting around for you forever, and I can't make you love me. I'm here and willing to give it another go if you are, but it's upto you, so just think about it carefully. I love you x'I think I've done the right thing. I accepted the break up, I've told him I understand, I admitted I messed up, and I've told him it's made me open my eyes and I know exactly how to behave with him now.I know now to leave him alone, and to give him that week to think, and if he doesn't reply or come back I know to let him go. Do you think I did the right thing letting him know that I recognize my mistake and giving him a timescale to come back?(I did the timescale thing because although he has most of the power right now, if after that week he hasn't come back, I will have the power, and I will be moving on with my life without running back to him...)
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male
reader, Wontonbomb +, writes (6 December 2009):
 Bravo! You have handled this very well. I might sound like a broken record on here, but I was in the same situation with my girlfriend about 2 weeks ago. She just said 'I need space' and that was that. I went down the route of shouting and name calling because I was hurt and that has solved nothing, in fact it has made it worse.
The fact that you have acted mature and logical about this is the best way to handle it. Remember that if you're feeling hurt or depressed, to try and keep your mind active and focus on yourself from now on until this issue is resolved. Try and remember that it is NOT your fault. You seem like a very senisble girl and if this doesn't work out I can guarentee that you will meet somebody far far better.
Please update us with how it goes in a week.
Good luck.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (6 December 2009):
Very much so. You've handled this in a mature manner, so well done. Make sure you stick to that timescale though.
You're a smart girl, and you've learnt in important point about relationships. People do need some time to themselves, so you will be able to face that in the future.
If he does't go back out with you, then look upon it that he was not Mr Right. Then, mend your heart, and go find the man for you. Good luck.
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