A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:ok, long story (fight between friends, needs help straightening out)Well it all starts with a fan site for a band. Me and my friend are both members. What it is, is a chance for fans from all over the world to chat with each other. You can either talk one on one with people or post blogs and comment on what they say. Well this problem started with a blog. One person posted something saying how yea they love the band and stuff, but they hate the people that do certain things. I just laughed, a person can say whatever they feel. While reading this, I was on facebook chatting with my friend. I posted the link for her to check it out, saying "check this out, someone has some serious anger issues."After awhile of talking about other stuff, I asked her if she read it, and she said: "Yes! and it was awesome!!" I couldn't believe what I had just read. I was like "WHAT?! oh well, I don't like it." and this is what she said next: "You don't like it, cuz it somewhat applies to you and you don't like the truth." this startled me at first, but then I just said: "ok no, but never mind" and she was like: "Yea lets just leave it at that otherwise we're gonna get into a big fight" so after that I tried to move on to a different subject. But I went back to check the new comments on the hate blog cuz I like to see what other people say. and I go to read the newest comment, and am completely shocked. Looked at the Username of the person who posted it, sure enough it was my friend. and this is what she said: "I'm SERIOUSLY love you for posting this! I totally agree. My friend read it and doesn't like it cuz it applies to her and she doesn't like the truth. But the truth it is and she'll just have to deal with it." I was like OMFG! while reading it, I was shaking, my heart was pounding, and I was on the verge of tears. I couldn't believe that my Best friend in the whole world would turn on me like that. I went back to facebook and typed in "wow, I suddenly got the feeling like I've been stabbed in the back. Goodnight" and I IMMEDIATELY got off the computer, i didn't even want to look at it. I went in my room and just tried to keep silent and not talk to her. I really wanted to cry but couldn't. Eventually I couldn't take it anymore. I HAD to tell her how I felt. so i texted her, first in all caps saying how she knows I'm not like that, and how i would never EVER say something like that about her. and then i went back to normal saying I thought that are everything we did concerning the band was fun. I truly thought that the fact that we both loved this band so much is part of what made our friendship even better. But then after this she apparently thinks I'm some stupid fan girl that wants to marry the band members. I said at the end of the text: "you've Seriously hurt me, big time. Sorry but I just had to tell you all that" after no replies from that text, I texted her again, i said "I know you probably think that what you put wasn't a big deal, but you have NO idea how i'm feeling right now." and still no reply so I went to bed. Now this morning I checked facebook and the band website to see if she said anything. On facebook her status was "FML (fuck my life) I messed up. Again." so she knows that she hurt me quite badly. Then I checked the fansite and she removed her comment and changed it just to "thanks for posting this blog!". I suppose these are supposed to make me feel better but they DON'T. I don't know what to do, I mean she is one of the best friends I've ever had, and probably ever will have, but I FEEL like right now she doesn't REALLY care about what she did. and I don't even want to go to school tomorrow cuz we sit by each other in practically every class and we always talk. How can I go all day not talking to her? I don't want to, but I don't what to do. I could try talking to her, but I feel like that may start up another fight. A worse fight. Please help me. I don't know what to do. Thank you! :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2009): The guy below is right, things like facebook kill relatoinships with friends. One little thing could send it spiralling out of controll. To be honest, i think it is a really small problem that you two could definately fix easy. You just need to talk to her, i know you think this wont help but just say to her, i dont want to argue i want to sort this out because i dont want to loose you, your my best friend. If you dont tell her things are going to be really awkward for a long time!
xx
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (6 December 2009):
You've learnt an important lesson here, and that it that social sites like Facebook are friendship and relationship killers. I think your friend meant it as a joke, and then went too far. Maybe she was just having a bad day. You'll find as you grow through your teenage years that you have a few fights with your female friends. I'm a male, and we don't fight that much between ourselves because we don't rely on friends as much as women. But you're a young lady, trying to find out who you are and the slightest comment will feel like an attack.
Thing is, don't worry.
I think she knows she screwed up, and she's probably upset. Al right, she may have started it, but you can be a mature young lady if you talk to her. Forget the fight, just say you're upset it happened, but you'd like to just forget it and make up. and do just that. Never mention the fight, just let it go. If she responds, then it'll be fine. Be a young mature lady, rather than a little girl. She knew she messed it up, and doens't know what to do. So go to her, forgive her and move on.
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