A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hey everyone. For reason's which are not important; I was house bound because of severe depression. Thus to help the time pass I went online. I ended up talking to this guy. I'd heard people say lie about your age, what you look like, where you live because the net is filled with "weirdo's"(be safe) etc. And I'm ashamed to say that's what I did within a few months of knowing him, when he asked for my picture, age. He then told me his age, where he lived. Turned out I'm 8 years older than this guy. Fine I thought, it doesn't matter, we get on, we chat, we're having fun. And in the long run... this "time" we spend together will come to an end. Four years on we're still chatting (every single night for hours). It's to the point now the more time goes on the more difficult it is for me to tell him for fear he'll hate me. I am in love with him. And I know honesty is the best policy, but I'm petrified. I'd appreciate it if anyone could give me advice.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey all. sorry for the looooong delay getting back to those who were nice enough to give me some opinions regarding my situation. I eventually told him the whole truth. took some time for him to understand why i did what i did but im happy to say he forgave me. age was just a number. we met, visited eachother in our respective countries (safely). now married, have been for a year and it's going really well.
A
female
reader, yeahsureyoubetcha  +, writes (19 March 2008):
 Does he remember how old you are? How old you told him you are. It may not be a problem at all.
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A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20 +, writes (19 March 2008):
 I think you finally telling him the truth will push him away. I think that you need to tell him the truth, but be prepared for him to sign off.
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A
female
reader, MissKin +, writes (19 March 2008):
 Oh dear. Lying for protection on the internet is all very well and good but people often forget the emotions that can transpire through online relationships.
I had an 'internet boyfriend' long-distance, for three years, I rang him - he rang me. He never ever saw a picture of me and only new the lie of what i told him i looked like - so he loved me more or less for who i was, which is what is so beautiful about online relationships but at the same time, i lied to him and told him i was three years older than i am.
I never told him the truth - i ended the relationship but we're still friends, and to this day i can't remember how old he thinks i am.
so.. that's my own little background story. i know what you're thinking and what you're going through.
At the end of the day - the longer you delay it, the harder it gets. You have to tell him at some point if it's to progress any further - he will find out eventually one way or another or it'll stay a lie forever and this relationship will never be more than it is right now.
You have to tell him and whatever happens, happens - how do you know he is being truthful to you? If he loves you, he may be willing to overlook the age gap - but if he isn't, and things do go badly, which i hope they don't, that's just what lies do to people and relationships.
It's better now, than trying to keep up the charade - it's going to hurt if things go badly whenever you tell him, but you really should.
I don't think he'll hate you so much as be a bit confused and untrusting. But there's always a chance you can work through it. No one really knows how he'll react but hopefully he won't hate you. You'll have to try being honest and find out love.
I hope things work out for the best and other people provide their own experiences and opinions to help you out.
Take care and best wishes,
MK x
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